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Juan Ghuy Party Manifesto.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by rogueleader, May 15, 2010.

  1. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

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    Despite the fact that I asked nicely, Dougie has failed to appoint me Vice-Chancellor in his new cabinet, so I`m starting my own party made up of me and only me - The Juan Ghuy Party.

    Here are some broad brush-strokes with regard to Juan Ghuy Party policy -

    Electoral Reform ; Once voted into power the Juan Ghuy Party will abolish elections , lets be honest everyone finds them a tedious bore and every **** you can vote for is pretty much the same.

    Homeland Security ; Alex Salmond will be hung,drawn and quartered in a William Wallace stlye. This has nothing to do with his politics but should,however, serve as a warning to any practising hearts fans remaining in the country under the new regime.

    Immigration ; we will build "The Great Wall Of Juan Ghuy" six inches over the border with england and see if they are petty enough to complain about it. Other than that border control will be much as before except for the new " No Welsh " signs at Check-point Taffy.

    Tax ; I will be introducing a 110% tax on sportswear ( including skip caps ) and shall introduce similar punitive taxes on Burkas , Ghurkas, Lurkers and Social Workers. The tax dividend created will be spent mainly on ***s and booze.

    Law and Order ; ****-sake , where do you want me to start , trust me , its going to be messy. To briefly summerise things will be taking a down-turn for neds, *****s, boat-people and any hysterical, annoying trouser-hawks. AND VENOM PD


    Vote Juan Ghuy Party, remember , Juan is an ordinary chap <ok>
     
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  2. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    Juan Kerr more like.....<whistle>
     
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  3. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

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    I know who I`ll be deporting to Wales as soon as I take power, you footpad.
     
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  4. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    <laugh> I take it back then, anywhere but Wales!
     
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  5. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

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    Fair enough , do you want to be the minister for the final solution to the welsh problem ?
     
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  6. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    Problem Solved:

    please log in to view this image
     
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  7. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

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    The jobs yours <ok>
     
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  8. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    <laugh> The thing is Swansea looked more modern after the nuke went off.....
     
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  9. rogueleader

    rogueleader suave gringo

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    Its funny how , even in the most polite,liberal or downright politically correct company you can casually remark how everyone in wales should be steilised or the country nuked and almost everyone nods their head in an understanding way<laugh>

    reminds me of the hitler joke....

    two explorers travelling in darkest south america stumble on a village where adolf hitler has been hiding out since the war, and he`s now mayor of the village. They ask him what his plans are , he says he plans to return to germany , seize power and his first act will be to killl seven million jews and five clowns.

    " but why five clowns ? " ask the explorers.

    "you see I told you no one cares about the jews" replies adolf.
     
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  10. Magic Laudrup 11

    Magic Laudrup 11 Well-Known Member
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  11. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    <laugh> <laugh> <laugh>

    I have Coulrophobia so all clowns should be exterminated. ****ing something wrong with a grown man who wants to dress-up in semi-drag and entertain small children with balloons.
     
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  12. B-C

    B-C Well-Known Member

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    Stupid phobias like that should be outlawed fer **** sake.

    Man up <ok>
     
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  13. Mr Tediwoofs

    Mr Tediwoofs Member

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    Rogue leader, You'd need a Drugs Csar! I'd obviously put myself forward. I'm a complete ****wit though but I really hate the Welsh.
     
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  14. Kim Jong Il

    Kim Jong Il Well-Known Member

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    were you molested by clowns as a child?
     
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  15. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    <laugh> No my mum had a shelf full of horrible clown dolls that was really high up and looked freaky as **** in the dark.
     
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  16. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    Three words ya ****: John Wayne Gacy!!

    please log in to view this image
     
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  17. Castleger

    Castleger Active Member

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    you were a small boy at the time, so you don't fully understand and your subconcious has created a memory of a shelf full of clowns.

    The reality of course is your maw was getting gangbanged when the circus was in town....sorry to break it to you <ok>

    I bet you hate Red Nose Day as well <laugh>
     
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  18. B-C

    B-C Well-Known Member

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    Ah he didn't mean it. He was just misunderstood <ok>
     
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  19. Magic Laudrup 11

    Magic Laudrup 11 Well-Known Member
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    <laugh> <laugh> <laugh>
     
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  20. VenomPD

    VenomPD Merrick jr

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    <laugh> <laugh> I do hate Red Nose Day but mainly because it encourages people to act "wacky" and we have to watch Lenny Henry.


    There was this Russian clown who used to come to our primary school every year and to this day I'm sure he was pumping the Primary 3 teacher Mrs McKay. He was ****ing horrible too, he wore an Orange wig and his make-up looked creepy. ****ing *****phile.
     
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