I was planning on going to the paper shop. But it blew away in the wind. "Is that the local swimming baths" I enquired. To which the chap replied "Depends where you are phoning from". It's great having a sense of humour, it really is.
I went into the Deli the other day and asked the chap "Do you have Frog's legs" to which he replied "yes we do" and I said - quick as a flash "Well hop over there and get me a sandwich". He was flabbergasted, he admitted as much that indeed his gast had never been so flabbered.
I just wish we could get some humour out of Toby. He seems to be a sad, lonely and miserable human being. Do you know he keeps phoning the Samaritans for help and a chat. Alas they keep hanging up on him.
Woop! The crusty old ***** crew have started a thread for me <YAY> Aldo will be along soon guys, don't worry
He really does think the ****ing world revolves around him. Must be a fat little ****er with his own gravity field.
I went into the train station the other day and asked for a return ticket. Where to? asked the Ticket guy "Back here of course you fool" I replied, quick as you like.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no ****in idea!!
Hard of hearing scouser's at the bar. A gorgeous bird approaches, and asks him if he wants oral sex. He punches her put cold. Barman says, '****ing hell Baz, she was gagging for it! What did she say?' 'Something about a job.'
I was in the fish shop the other day and the guy in front of had a cod under his arm and he asked the shop keeper if he had any fish cakes, the shop keeper said no and the guy said, pointing at the fish under his arm, "oh that's a shame, it's his birthday today"
A guy goes into a Glasgow fish shop with a massive condom over his shoulder. "A pound a fillet" he says "a tenner you ****ing don't" says the Fishmonger
