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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

  1. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6101
  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6102
    Diego, Aski, wakeybreakyheart and 2 others like this.
  3. Aski

    Aski Well-Known Member

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    I didn't believe my wife when she said she wanted to go and see The Monkees in concert in Switzerland, and then I saw her face. Now I'm in Geneva.
     
    #6103
  4. brisbane-lion

    brisbane-lion Well-Known Member

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    American's "Letter to the Editor". "I think it's unfair to castigate Lance Armstrong for winning seven Tours de France while on drugs. When I was on drugs I couldn't even find my bike." (True story)
     
    #6104
  5. Poly

    Poly Well-Known Member

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    Need to get that joke in quick, while there's still one alive.
     
    #6105
  6. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    thas is an absolute corker

     
    #6106
    blonogasoven likes this.
  7. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.
    She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."
    Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."
    Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
    Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you use to bite my neck."
    Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
    "Where are you going ?" she asked.
    "To get my teeth!"
     
    #6107
  8. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    .
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    #6108
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2022
    Diego likes this.
  9. DMD

    DMD Eh?
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  10. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    i was asked if i could help to re-turf a local pitch so some historical society could do a reenactment of a civil war battle, unfortunately it was on a saturday and i thought **** that for a game of soldiers
     
    #6110
    wakeybreakyheart likes this.

  11. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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  12. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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  13. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    i had to thank my neighbour after a recent torrential downpour for lending me a large thick waterproof sheet for my leaky garden shed....ta pauline
     
    #6113
    Brizzlewhite and OLOF like this.
  14. OLOF

    OLOF Well-Known Member

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  15. ellandback

    ellandback Well-Known Member
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  16. ellandback

    ellandback Well-Known Member
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  17. oldschool

    oldschool Well-Known Member

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    i hate it when my finger goes through the bog roll....that aside it's not all bad working in a care home
     
    #6117
    Ringo Lion and Makemstine Roger like this.
  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6118
  19. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #6119
    oldschool likes this.
  20. xbpod

    xbpod Well-Known Member

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