Our own Amusement thread didn't take off but we have a thread on the Horse Racing Forum with some amusing jokes etc. Rather than duplicate them, here is the link so that you can keep up to date with the latest offerings. Lighten Up - have a laugh
An example of some of the 1 liners' I was in bed with a blind girl last night. She said "You've got the biggest dick I've ever laid my hands on." I said "you're pulling my leg."
Evening Ron - here's the thread on Francis' departure. http://www.not606.com/showthread.php/99167-Francis-finally-departs Have to say, I didn't much rate him but he is a very good crosser of a ball. Also, I'd suggest that going to a side that's just been done 6-0 is a pretty good time to get yourself noticed...
Evening Tewkes, Yes I saw that thread and posted one of the comments on this forum (the not very complimentary one).
A few one liners for you http://www.not606.com/showthread.php/97876-Lighten-Up-have-a-laugh?p=1868824&viewfull=1#post1868824
How do you spot a blind man on a nudist beach?............................It's not hard. A blind man walked into a pub a shouts "Heh, who wants to hear a blonde joke?" A nearby customer says to him quietly "Look the barman is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, I'm 6ft and a black belt karate, the bloke next to me is a 6'2" rugby player and the guy to your right is a 6'5" wrestler pushing 300lbs; we're all blonde. Listen, do you really want to go ahead and tell that joke?" The blind man says "No mate, not if I've got to explain it 5 bloody times". Barack Obama came to visit the Queen. He said "Your country is so well run. How do you manage it?" The Queen said "It's easy; you just have to have clever people working for you". Obama: How do you tell if they are clever? Queen: Simple, you put them through a test. Obama: What sort of test? Queen: I'll show you. (Calls in David Cameron). David, if your mother and father produced a child and that child was not your brother nor your sister, who was the child? Cameron: That's easy, it's me. Queen: Well done David, that is correct. (Turns to Obama) You see, now there is a clever man. Obama: That's brilliant, I must try that when I get back. Back in USA Obama calls in Vice President Joe Biden and asks him "Joe, if your mother and father produced a child and that child was not your brother nor your sister, who was the child? Biden: (thinks for a while) "Hmm. Don't know, I'll have to go away and have a think about that" Biden rushes off and asks all his colleagues the same question but is still unable to find an answer. Finally he approaches Hillary Clinton and asks her. She says "Simple, it's me". "Great" says Biden and rushes back to the President. "Mr President, I have the answer, it's Hillary Clinton" Obama. You stupid arsehole, it's David Cameron.
an old drunken tramp walked into martins bank and said to the lady cashier, hic give me an f'ing cheque book. she called the manager who took him into his office. yes said the manager, how can we help. look guv said the tramp, i have just won 22 million on the lottery and i want a f'ing cheque book. the manager took him back to miss boobyer the cashier and said, don't stand their like a c*nt give the man a f'ing cheque book!
