1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    123,375
    Likes Received:
    215,648
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13161
  2. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    13,799
    Likes Received:
    21,096
  3. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2014
    Messages:
    6,945
    Likes Received:
    8,100
  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    123,375
    Likes Received:
    215,648
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13164
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    123,375
    Likes Received:
    215,648
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13165
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    123,375
    Likes Received:
    215,648
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13166
  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    123,375
    Likes Received:
    215,648
    OK. So we've all heard of the actor Richard Gere.

    But it is such a shame that his fame overshadowed that of his famous ventriloquist father..... Gotler !!
     
    #13167
  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    123,375
    Likes Received:
    215,648
    There were these two priests who rode bikes to church every Sunday. Well one day one of the priests showed up to work without his bike. The other priest asked where his bike was so the first priest said, "I don't know, but I think it got stolen!"
    The other priest said, "Well what you do is read off the Ten Commandments, and when you get to "Thou shall not steal" someone will confess to the crime."
    The next time the two saw each other the priest had his bicycle back. "I see you got your bike back! Did you do what I said?" the one priest said.
    The other said, "Well kind of, when I was reading the commandments and I got to Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery, I seemed to remember where I had left it."
     
    #13168
  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    123,375
    Likes Received:
    215,648
    In the village where I live everyone wears a jumper 2 sizes too small.

    Never found out why even though its a tight knit community.
     
    #13169
  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    123,375
    Likes Received:
    215,648
    I was in the chemistry lab at school earlier and I said to the prep assistant, “What can I use to get rid of germs?”

    She said, "Ammonia cleaner."

    I said, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought you worked here..."
     
    #13170

  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    123,375
    Likes Received:
    215,648
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13171
  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    123,375
    Likes Received:
    215,648
    I joined a gym and said to the trainer, “I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?”

    “Try the ATM outside,” he said.
     
    #13172
  13. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    13,799
    Likes Received:
    21,096
  14. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    100,671
    Likes Received:
    160,635
  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    123,375
    Likes Received:
    215,648
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13175
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    123,375
    Likes Received:
    215,648
    Kevin gets a New Secretary.
    A few days later his wife learns of this this new hire, and so he faces a volley of rapid, suspicious questions.
    Emma (Kevin's wife): “Does your new secretary have nice legs?" Kevin: “Didn’t quite notice."
    Emma: "What color are her eyes?" Kevin: “Haven’t had the time to check."
    Emma: "What are the nail polish colors she uses, metallic, gel or neon?" Kevin:
    “Not a clue in the world." Emma: "Does she have a local accent?” Kevin: “I barely spoke to her, so don’t know.”
    Emma: "How does she dress?" Kevin: "Very quickly.”
     
    #13176
  17. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    100,671
    Likes Received:
    160,635
  18. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2011
    Messages:
    42,591
    Likes Received:
    65,553
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13178
    daimungeezer and Wooperts_duck like this.
  19. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2011
    Messages:
    13,799
    Likes Received:
    21,096
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    123,375
    Likes Received:
    215,648
    please log in to view this image
     
    #13180

Share This Page