Gallows Humour! You have to have a sense of humour to be a Pompey fan these days or you'll end up over the edge! Here are a few 'witty' comments from the past 24 hours. From Channonfodder Any truth in the rumour that they are planning to bury the remains of Richard the third under the pitch at Fratton Park? Well, I suppose there have been people dying on the pitch all season so..... From Pieking On the plus side, it's been reported that Pompey have claimed they were driving Chris Huhne's car and have asked for the 3 points... From Number 1 Jasper Meanwhile, in a late development from Fratton Park, I understand Guy Whittingham has taken the players for a visit to the dockyard so they can see for themselves what Victory looks like. To kick us off, I'll raise you Jasper: Guy Whittingham is to take the squad to a casino tonight, where they will stand around a Blackjack table to see what a DRAW looks like. As I've said on here many a time; if you can't laugh at yourself, you've no right to laugh at any-one else! So let's use this thread to show that Gallows Humour is alive and well!
Rumour has it that due to the number of recently postponed fixtures, Portsmouth Ladies were considering challenging the Portsmouth men to a friendly. In the end, they decided against it and instead arranged a friendly against QK Southampton, whom they recently beat 15-nil, as it was thought that they would provide a tougher challenge!
A Portsmouth fan walks into a pub with his dog just as the football scores come on the TV. The announcer says that Portsmouth have lost 2-0 and the dog immediately rolls over on its back, sticks its paws in the air and plays dead. “That’s amazing,” says the barman. “What does he do when they win?” The Pompey Fan scratches his head for a couple of minutes and finally replies: “I dunno…. I’ve only had the dog for eight months.”
I think that Pompey's fans need to reprise their song for the end of the season, as per Doncaster. I have taken the liberty of re-writing the words for you. The Football League Is upside down The football League is upside down We're going up with the Bury, And the Donnys going down, (Repeat until sober)
According to Nabil Hassan another consortium has bid for Pompey which is lead by Portpin. Thought I'd post it here as it fits in well
The judge says to a child who is being beaten by his father- who would you like to live with as I am removing you from your fathers house? "Your mother?" No, she beats me as well, replies the child. "Your uncle?" No, he beats me as well, replies the child. "Southampton?" "YES!" replies the child. They never beat anyone! BOOM!
Of the 8 consecutive defeats, 4 have been by the odd goal, so a song for our next game: Vindaloo, but with the crescendo being.... "WE'RE GONNA SCORE ONE LESS THAN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......PORTSMOUTH!"
Humour I love Only Fools and Horses so i pinched this off Southampton fc Please sing along No Income Tax, no VAT, Does not apply to PFC, Clapped-out ground, Gimp with bell, Cheating b'stards go to hell, God bless HMRC, Bye, bye PFC Long live SFC Say liquidate PFC Liquidate PFC
Not one of mine but my grand son.....of 11........I heard that Pompey were so short of points they would even take nector points!! Second one actually heard.......Hey grandad who plays for Pompey..... .......dunno son check at the end of the month!!! Well I laughed......... sorry Pompey
Really, Ted? Surely you can think of something funny! That's a let down The one about Portsmouth asking to take Chris Huhne's driving points is funny though!
I understand the groundsman at Fratton Park has been busy planting potato plants around the edge of the pitch. Not only is it another potential source of income but it guarantees that Pompey will have something to lift at the end of the season.....
And if we harvest enough of them, we'll gain 'potato mastery', giving us another piece of silverware to add to our collection! #farmvillereference #ohtheshame
All betting on English league matches have been temporarily cancelled due too an investigation into irregular bets, Apparently someone bet on Portsmouth to win.
Sarcasm doesnt often come through on these text only forums, but LD's post appears to be dripping in it and easy to spot
