2 weeks into the football season and the male population of the UK are already in a state of mental disrepair. Tantrums, stress, excessive drinking in the local pub, fallouts with our better halves and the complete disection of the mental capabilities of every professional referee within the wonderful game of football. Is football good for us? Should we all stop watching it and become better people? There are jobs to be done around the home, things that the feeble female just cannot and will not do. Moving the lawn, fixing the internal fixtures of our homes or getting the remote control to work, these important domestic chores will not do themselves. So what is to be done? Can we enjoy the game without losing our minds at an incorrect offside decision? Can we applaud politely when our team scores other than the elated battlecry of a crazed Norse God who has just won the throne of Valhalla in a bloodied battle with his arch enemy? Probably not so a solution must be found. Here are my 10 mental health tips for the season. Talk About Your Feelings It's good to talk and this is an online forum after all. Discuss things in a sensible manner there's a no wumming rule on this board so don't call HAIG a twat if your team loses, be polite and let your feelings on that loss come out in a sensible way. Eat Well Leave the pies alone and have a banana. Throwing bananas is not allowed though lets not open that can of worms. Keep In Touch Don't avoid the Chelsea board because the Chavs have just given your team a 1- 0 spanking with an own goal and 89 minutes of everyone including Jose and the club doctor parked in the 18 yard box, post there anyway, let them know you admire their style of football. Take a Break Not the silly womans magazine, just don't watch the game. Watford v Leicester is going to be **** anyway go out and get some fresh air. Accept Who You Are People will laugh when you declare that the league is yours and that the £200 million the club has spent on foreign players that nobody has heard of is a good investment for the future. You are who you are just smile and stick to your guns. Until Christmas at least. Keep Active Nervous pacing or standing when your team gets near the 18 yard box is not excersize, go out for a walk between games. Drink Sensibly Ummmm, struggling here to be honest maybe just stick a slice of lime in your pint and call it a cocktail, that way at least the fruit is healthy. Ask For Help We're all footy fans and we all know your pain, just ask we wont laugh we'll be sympathetic and sensibly discuss why you just lost at home to West Brom, honest we will. Care For Others We're a community lets look after each other a hug goes a long way and it doesn't have to mean that you're into bumming other men although if that's what you like it's fine it's 2015 fellas live and let live. Do Something You're Good At If you're in a bad place go and do something that makes you happy, posting a thread on the Swansea or Southampton board informing them that they are **** is enough to cheer most people up, the reaction will make you smile and all will be right with the world once again.
Will read it all later but my eyes were immediately drawn to the bit about visiting the Chelsea board
Great article, and great advice, Luvvy! Whenever I feel down, I like to play guitar. Well, when I say "play," what I actually mean is, I like to get up in front of hundreds of people and shred my ****ing heart out. It helps me to cope with my negative feelings, and to get to my innermost core. An added benefit is that it has the hot pussy throwing itself at me, which is also another way of lifting my spirit. Mind you, I wouldn't get too concerned about football ****ing with people's brains, Luvvy. Most of the posters on this site are far too dense for it to matter.
Strange mood you're in HAIG, thanks for the reply though, spent ages doing it and no ****er is replying bunch of batards!
With that random response from HIAG about how he has pussy thrown at his feet for being a rock god, I'd say surely football has already rot a couple of brains away
I admit that I have suffered - well, I am a Spurs fan! I finally got the red card from the missus after a loud exclamation of 'You useless ****' I must admit that I had already pumped quite a few 'F's' into the game. I try to be more mellow, but being a Spurs fan is not for the faint hearted!
I think the shortage of replies may well be down to the fact that it's not an issue that's going to affect half the posters on this site!
I wouldn't say so. It's just that most of us keep things in perspective and honestly football is way way way down the pecking order for me. One of my "mates" at work is almost 40 and acts like a child concerning anything football (yid as well), kinda sad and a little pathetic if you take it all so seriously.
I agree, Spurs don't ever get to the point of excitement as they've generally been knocked out of the competition by the time it gets interesting.
I'd put our record both recently and historically against you lot fella. Long way to go for you lot to be in the same bracket us the Mighty Red Liverpool Juggernaught.
I'd agree with that, Luvvy, if we were talking about the 'Pool of the 70s and 80s, but not today's 'Pool. We're a far better team and a far bigger club than 'Pool is today. Surely?
Please see the section of the OP posted below............. Accept Who You Are People will laugh when you declare that the league is yours and that the £200 million the club has spent on foreign players that nobody has heard of is a good investment for the future. You are who you are just smile and stick to your guns. Until Christmas at least.
