An Irishman gets jumped by a mugger. After an hour of struggling, the mugger finally gets Paddy's wallet, only to find he has just 30p. Astounded by Paddy's fight, the mugger says, 'Why did you put up such a fight for just 30p?' Paddy says, 'I thought you were after the £500 in my sock.'
Paddy and Mick are walking down the road when Paddy falls down an open manhole. "Did you break anything, Paddy?" shouts Mick. "Naw, Mick, there's nothing down here!" ba-dom-tsh
Paddy n Mick where walking down a country lane when Paddy fell into a deep hole "Mick, top of the morning to ya, pass me down a match will ya so I can see what's down here, " "Here you go, to be sure" "Mick, the match didn't work, beggora" "It did when I used it, to be sure, to be sure, "
Paddy and Mick are walking down the road when Paddy falls down an open manhole. "Is it dark down there, Paddy?" shouts Mick "Dunno" shouts Paddy "I canny see".
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy , looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp. "What happened to you?" asks the bartender. "aswordmadeofhash and me had a fight," says Paddy. "That little ****" says the barman, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand." "That he did," says Paddy, "a hurley is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it." "Well," says the barman, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?" "That I did," said Paddy. "His girlfriend's right tit , and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
Shayne had been drinking at his local pub all day and most of the night. Mick, the bartender says, "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Shayne". Shayne replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then." Shayne spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "****e" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face. He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and get some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up the doorframe. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk. He falls flat on his face. "I'm fockin' focked," he says. He can see his house just a few doors down,and crawls to the door and shimmies up the doorframe, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says "No fockin' way". He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "I can make it to the bed." He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says "Fock it" and falls into bed. The next morning, his wife, Mary, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Shayne. Did you have a bit to drink last night?". Shayne says, "I did Mary. I was fockin' p!ssed. But how'd you know?" "Mick called. You left your wheelchair at the pub again!"
poor effort stereo ... time to debunk the ''joke'' * what the **** was it taking place in Belfast for ? *''the little ****'' said the barman : a belfast barman wouldnt know me and definately doesnt using little. *a hurley is not my weapon of choice, it's a lump hammer * my girlfriend doesnt have a right tit - you insensitive **** other than that it was hilarious
A Scotsman, Englishman and Irishman are talking about their kids. Scotsman: I named ma boy Andrew as he was born on St Andrews day. Englishman: I named ma boy George as he was born on St George's day Irishman: I named ma boy Pancake
You changed it from the correct ba-dom-tsh, to the incorrect ba-dum-tsh. And, that's what it's called in drumming, a rimshot, you thick ****
