Hello, I am new here, so I thought that I should introduce myself. My name is Bladder, Sepptic Bladder. I love football and football loves me. As far as I am concerned, I AM football and I rule the football world as President for Life of the secretive and totalitarian organisation 'FUKA'. Everyone must do as I say, or suffer the consequences. I work tirelessly to run the Football World the way that it should be run, with an iron fist and a superior intellect. every day I have many brilliant ideas for the improvement of Football and increasing the power, influence and income of FUKA and, most importantly, me. As soon as possible, the World Football calendar will be changed, so that the World Cup is played in the winter. I would, after all, much prefer to be warming a VIP seat at the World Cup rather than freezing my arse off in Switzerland. FUKA is a completely transparent organisation and is 100% free of any corrupt or biased practices of which I am not aware. It is therefore totally unnecessary to conduct an external audit of the organisation or it's officers, who are all, to a man, beyond reproach. The executive officers and committee members of FUKA have all been hand-picked by me and are therefore totally reliable and honest. I know that they will never conduct any corrupt practices without giving me my cut. Soon, FUKA will rule the World of Football and beyond. The decisions and proclamations of FUKA will be final. There will be no dissent or disagreement. All those who question the authority of FUKA will be dealt with swiftly and ruthlessly. Nobody will be immune, and is you think you are, just remember that they never found Shergar, did they? And the pies sure tasted good at the end of the 82/83 season, didn't they?
