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Match Day Thread Interlude: Granny checks her phone (Tuesday 6pm)

Discussion in 'Southampton' started by ......loading......, May 15, 2021.

  1. ......loading......

    ......loading...... 25 undefeated

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    There are not many things finer in life than a woman who has matured well, and there are few women maturer than Granny St. Claire. She has that certain something about her. Some say it is the tea-stained false teeth with the diamond Ingscisor; some suggest it her stunning set piece of a middle; some claim it is the slight leathery quality to her skin and the scent of musk. Whatever it is, Granny is a hit on Tinder.

    Right now, Granny is messaging a very fine young man from Argentina. He has the sexiest name: Marcelo. They have been messaging for a week using Google translate - as poor Marcelo doesn't speak a work of English. He is in Leeds for work, poor dear, but has suggested he might pop down for a bit of 'how's your flamingo'. That doesn't sound all that sexy, so Granny hopes it is just a case of bad Google translate.

    Granny is a silver surfer. She spends hours on the net each week, checking up on her admirers. Her favourites are the ones at Not606. They are a peculiar bunch but one called Lincoln reminds her of her great Auntie Lesley. She was a grand old lady. There is another site of her fans called Saintsweb but they seem a bit common and she only visits for the nudes.

    Her phone beeps. It is confirmed. Granny's date is heading in from Leeds and somebody is getting ****ed.
     
    #1
  2. timatoketchup

    timatoketchup Well-Known Member

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    I want a win purely for a final chapter of granny's exploits. 3-2 to us.
     
    #2
  3. ......loading......

    ......loading...... 25 undefeated

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    Two more wins and Granny kicks off next season.
     
    #3
    davecg69, StJabbo1 and timatoketchup like this.
  4. timatoketchup

    timatoketchup Well-Known Member

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    If she's still with us..
     
    #4
    thereisonlyoneno7 likes this.
  5. Le Tissier's Laces

    Le Tissier's Laces Well-Known Member

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    10 points from 12 in our last four home games. Nice to make that 13 from 15.
     
    #5
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  6. ......loading......

    ......loading...... 25 undefeated

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    She has had the vaccine!
     
    #6
    thereisonlyoneno7 likes this.
  7. Piri Weepu

    Piri Weepu Well-Known Member

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    What’s the opposite of ReLeGaTiOn FoRM?
     
    #7
  8. SAINTOSPREY

    SAINTOSPREY Well-Known Member

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    #8
    Lemons and Oranges likes this.
  9. OddRiverOakWizards

    OddRiverOakWizards Well-Known Member

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    Looking forward to this one. Surely won't be 0-0!

    Hopefully Romeu will be back against the team he got injured against.
     
    #9
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  10. The 83rd Minute

    The 83rd Minute Well-Known Member

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    Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?
    Or is it one of Granny's myths?
     
    #10

  11. Lemons and Oranges

    Lemons and Oranges Well-Known Member

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    With Mainwaring as one of the assistants, we ought to have at least one player called 'Pike'...
     
    #11
  12. StJabbo1

    StJabbo1 Well-Known Member

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    Is that a joke? I mythed it.
     
    #12
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  13. Lemons and Oranges

    Lemons and Oranges Well-Known Member

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    Whoo Hoo! I've got my ticket!!!!
     
    #13
  14. Lemons and Oranges

    Lemons and Oranges Well-Known Member

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    Or the 4th official should be Wilson: "Do you think that's wise, sir?"
     
    #14
    StJabbo1 likes this.
  15. Lovelocum

    Lovelocum Well-Known Member

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    Leeds are doing well. We’ve started playing well. I predict a 4-4 draw.
     
    #15
    Lemons and Oranges likes this.
  16. Lemons and Oranges

    Lemons and Oranges Well-Known Member

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    I predict a (socially distanced) riot - Throwing insults at each other
     
    #16
  17. Dark Lord SFC

    Dark Lord SFC Well-Known Member

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    My team would be
    Whoever
    KWP-Stephens-Vester-Salisu
    Armstrong-JWP-Romeu-Walcott
    Adams-Ings
     
    #17
  18. ChilcoSaint

    ChilcoSaint What a disgrace
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    If the keepers are having 2 games each, this one will be Alex’s. I wonder what Ralph will do for the last game, half each? No keeper at all? Harry Lewis?
     
    #18
  19. Lemons and Oranges

    Lemons and Oranges Well-Known Member

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    Rush goalies. Jumpers for goalposts. Headers and fancy flicks only goals that count.
     
    #19
  20. ......loading......

    ......loading...... 25 undefeated

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    Granny is going in goal.
     
    #20

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