I'm ****ing seething!

Just been to Southwell Minster for a choir recital and was on our way home to Mansfield.

It was too late for lunch so I thought we'd have a snack and get summat decent tonight.

I asked our lass for an apple and she ferreted in her bag before passing me one.

Fair enough she 'polished it' before passing it but ............ she hadn't removed the stalk

FFS!!!!!!!!! Is it too much to ask, when someone's driving, to remove the ****ing stalk?

It's a basic procedure of eating a hand held fruit ....... thumb at the bottom and forefinger in the hollow at the top.

How the **** can you comfortably do that, while driving, when there's a ****ing stalk poking out of the top!!!!

She's ****ed off out now in a huff after I graciously spent an hour explaining where she'd gone wrong.

I thought that was considerate, on my part, but apparently I'm 'overreacting' ......... women eh

 

It's like when you ask them to pass you a drink, and they have the ****ing lid on.

**** sake...

 

I think you need to get to the core of your relationship problems.....

 

Are you saying there's a seed of doubt, is it not just that Smug's out of his tree?

 

Or when they pass you a can of beer, when you're flying up the motorway, and the mouthpiece isn't properly aligned to your mouth

 

I blame her Granny,Smith.

 

Next time open the passenger door and shove her out at 70mph. She won't repeat that mistake again.

 

Canny idea mate but I'm not prepared to drop my speed down that far even for summat that serious.

 

What is she grabs hold of his Cox pippins?

 

Hahahahaha.

Sometimes you just sound like me, but much ****ing older mate

 

Should have stuck with the bananas.

 

I'm not sure if I can trust her with any hand held fruit, any more, to be perfectly honest with you.

Sometimes I look at her and I don't know who she is anymore

 

You must send her to the school of fruit etiquate top speed, next time take some cherries and if she doesnt cup her hand for the pips, deck the bitch!

 

Sounds like a bad apple like

 

And they complain when you leave the seat up!!

 

She sounds like the type of woman who would hand him a pommegranite without a spoon,

 

TBH mate, I'm not sure she could cope with the stalks ..... would she pass me two cherries on the one stalk?

Would she allow a rotten or under ripe one through quality control?

I'm ****ing shaking at the thought of what a mess she could get hersel into.

 

Even at my age I've no idea if you should leave it up or down ....... it's a ****ing minefield mate.

 

Or ask you if you want an orange whilst driving and pass you in un-peeled

 

Hahahaha