Who would you have, from here, on the staff? big boss - me, obviously. Marcus - getting the bands in and that Defive - Head of finance cos he`s got letters after his name (clivver twat) in banking (yes, that is spelled correctly) Billy - Got to be head of PR. Roger - Europe things cos that`s where he is. Nads - top lad in the scouting dept. Blunham and his missus in the catering (bacon sarnies a speciality) Anybody else want a job? What do you think you`d be good at? Yes I`m still bored.
You'd all get food poisoning if I was doing the catering! The menu would consist of just 1 item. Guinness! If you don't like it, **** off!!!
That`s fine mate. Nowt wrong with keeping it simple. Thought we might have had bacon sarnies like. btw, telling people to **** off is Billy`s department.
I didn't. I left it for you to fill in the blanks. There'd be no mustard for the bacon sarnies thats for sure! Bloody heathens!
I'd probably hire people for roles they're qualified for. As such the board wouldn't get a look in. You'd be better off asking Short for a job.
If Short asked me for a job he wouldn`t get one. No qualifications that I can see. The board would be first out the door like.
I wouldn't mind the junior coaching job please - but on one condition. Would you please lay me out a junior sized pitch with cobble stones, and may I have a few old-fashioned round metal dustbins with enough concrete slabs to place one in each bin? I'd want to coach kids from 8 or 9 up to 14, and they would play three games per week on that surface. Their ball control would become quite exceptional because it has to. The other sessions that week would comprise of passing/shooting the ball to the dustbins (no special surface - the car park will do). The thing about a round dustbin is the further you hit it off centre, the wider the angle of the return, and the further you have to run to fetch it back. When your lungs are busting lad, you'll gain a greater desire for accuracy, When I hand them over at 14, they will know nothing about formations, systems, tactics - nothing at all. I believe 13 or 14 is age enough to learn that stuff - kids should be free to express themselves, something that we coach out of them far too early these days. One last thing - when I hand them over, they'll play with the skills of South Americans. And for the most logical of reasons - that's the sort of surface they learn on in the derelict waste sites of Buenos Aires or Montevideo. And that's exactly the surface that produced English legends like Shackleton, Matthews, Finney and Mannion. Baxter, Law and Best too probably. Ged McNamee can introduce them to EPL weight-lifting and marathon running skills then.
Damn good thinking that Relic. The jobs yours. Not sure about Ged though. According to the other thread if I sack him there`ll be another 15 friends and family to go with him. Ah well, so be it. Got any pals need a job?
He certainly is mate. I don`t think you would go there though. The dark side? Wear a black & white top? It would surely burn your flesh. It had better do mind
I see the flaw in your logic mate. You'd be having them kicking those 10lb leather footballs (20lbs in winter!). These soft-bellied kids of today would all be on the physio's bench first time they side-footed it!
No mate - I'm thinking a smaller ball because it bobbles on the stones more, and increases your need for ball control. Not maybe a tennis ball - they might stub their poor tootsies. A half sized ball would do.
Can I drive the team bus. I'm not qualified but neither is Mr Short in running our club so I must have a chance.
