Who'd have thought it eh? I met a guy from Stornaway on my flight back from the Ivory Coast in 2008 and he told me he'd been shagging all the hookers out there. He goes to me "They don't even make you wear a johnny".... **** would have been as well playing Russian Roulette with an automatic pistol.... He also got agressive as **** with the wee queer French steward guy on the Air France flight. He asked for a beer and the guy said he was too drunk and put a hand on his shoulder he starts shouting "Get your ****y hands off me you froggy gayboy"....
he sounds like a riot. we convinced a bloke in the army he had aids because he'd ****ed a hooker bareback in kenya, he had prickly heat on his back we told him it was aids rash (one of the first symptoms) "thomo, havent you seen philadelphia?" this is the same guy who showed us the ultrasound of his kid and we had him going that it wasnt his because clearly the kid was black
Remionds me of the scene in Sexy Beast when Ben Kingsley gets nicked for smoking on the plane ... Yeah, that's what I said. There's me putting my bag up in the cupboard next thing ya know, I feel hands on me. Someone's touched me, touched my front... my front bottom. I can't believe it, I've gone all cold. I look around, he standing there isn't he? That steward with the guilty look on his face. I was shocked, I didn't know what to say. I had to sit down, I was that perturbed. Then his mate, the other one who was giving us all lessons on what we do if we land in the sea. How to wear your life jacket etc; He starts off, he starts looking at my all funny... suggestive. Now I don't know if they're wanting me for a twosome or something, I don't know how they work it. But I'll tell you what, it scared me. I was shaking like a leaf, so without thinking I lit up a cigarette to calm me nerves. I was trembling, I was very emotional and that when all the rest of it happened. It's very regrettable. Now, I don't want to kick up a fuss, right, press charges... contact the British embassy. I'd rather not pursue those chanells, that's not my style. I'm not that sort of a bloke. I don't want to lose the man his job. Man's got to eat. And I'm sure he's not representive of all you Spanish people. But I would appreciate it if you had a word with him, let him know he's been rumbled. The one with the ginger hair.
I met Leslie once , a more sweaty,shifty,seedy multiple personalitied character is hard to imagine ; was like being in a room with hannibal lecter
