T'was the 18th of August and spirits were high, we arrived at the airport and drank the place dry. Apologies for the rhyme, but that was how jovial the mood was. We made our way to the plane. Glasgow to Ibiza. If you've ever been on one of these flights you'll know how 'boisterous' they are. The pilot warned everyone before the flight not to be wee weegie junkie arseholes but to no avail - the police were on twice before we left the airport and before we knew it the plane was 8 bodies lighter. An hour delay - FRUSTRATION. Then alcohol was banned from the flight - UTTER DEVASTATION. Wound up and sober-ish, we arrived in Ibiza. With only a McDonald's breakfast in us, this was no state to be entering the island. We dropped the bags off and made it out for 11pm, pretty early. We went to V-Club, Play2 then Kilties... Then it gets blurry. I can remember staggering back down the west end and being approached by a Spanish burd - 'I show you good time'... Aye nae bother hen. Making my way into the strippers with her, I started to feel odd. Like something wasn't right. She pushed me down on a seat in a booth and as my arse hit the seat I thought - 'aw christ' - jumped back onto my feet and sprinted to the nearest toilet to spew my load. I managed to somehow miss the toilet and as I was still spewing that Spanish burd was still rubbing my cock and saying - 'you come back I show you good time'. Naw. I've never played pool with a rope and I didn't want to start. Woke up the next morning rougher than my Grandad's beard, clothes and shoes covered in spew, and to my surprise - an iPhone 5 and a gold chain lighter. £800 down the drain and I never even saw a ****ing nipple. Bastards. And that was just the first night.
I can't remember much more of the holiday so that'll just have to do I got back on Wednesday night and still feel awful.
You're just jealous. I had to go to the police station to report my 'lost' items. The Guardia Civil hate the British.
You see many decent DJs Muir? Went to Tenerife before with my mates and we all got arrested on the 1st night and held for 5 hours as the Guardia Civil slapped us about. A bit of smooth talking from Medro and we finally got released, told them I worked for the British government.
Dirty South, Sebastian Ingrosso & Axwell, Example, Fedde LeGrande and Avicii Seen Davey Guetta, Calvin Harris and Tiesto last year! 15 quid a drink in some of these places though
I said decent DJs My mate got tickets for VIP party at Ushuaia Towers the other week through some Americans birds he met online. They hooked him up with more tickets the next night for Carl Cox VIP party but he was clean out of cash. Said he was gutted when he heard they were in the DJ box with him and then drinking all night after with him at his Villa.
I was at Ushuaia twice, cracking place. In the VIP bit they were sitting with huge bottles of Champagne and Grey Goose. ****ers.
