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I need some advice

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Sam Axe, Apr 4, 2012.

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  1. Sam Axe

    Sam Axe Active Member

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    I am throwing myself at the mercy of the not606 crowd so be gentle.

    I have a problem where my arse is like a wizard's sleeve and I want to try and tighten it up again but I have no idea how to go about it or even if it will be possible.

    I am hoping that some of you may be able to give me some advice as I am sure you have personal experience with this (ST and Toby, I'm looking at you). Even if you don't have first hand experience through fear, your obsession with all things anal rape should come in handy (Gambol, I'm looking at you).

    Thank you in advance.
     
    #1
    Sam Axe, Apr 4, 2012
  2. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    Sew a button on it Sam.
     
    #2
    RAVENBLACK, Apr 4, 2012
  3. If in doubt

    If in doubt Well-Known Member

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    Just embrace it and use it to hold things in............sorta like a handy pocket <ok>
     
    #3
    If in doubt, Apr 4, 2012
  4. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Nothing you can do about it Sam, other than become the new poster boy for goatse <ok>
     
    #4
    Gambol, Apr 4, 2012
  5. Sam Axe

    Sam Axe Active Member

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    I do use it to smuggle contraband through airports <ok> The wideness of it means that I don't walk funny and I don't get stopped and searched.
     
    #5
    Sam Axe, Apr 4, 2012
  6. If in doubt

    If in doubt Well-Known Member

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    Unless you want to be...........:bandit:
     
    #6
    If in doubt, Apr 4, 2012
  7. TC (Lovely Geezer)

    TC (Lovely Geezer) Well-Known Member

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    So you must have been promoted to chief atlar boy then Sammy!!
     
    #7
    TC (Lovely Geezer), Apr 4, 2012
  8. Sam Axe

    Sam Axe Active Member

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    That was years ago
     
    #8
    Sam Axe, Apr 4, 2012
  9. Sam Axe

    Sam Axe Active Member

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    PS Feel free to use tags, they will no longer be deleted.
     
    #9
    Sam Axe, Apr 4, 2012
  10. If in doubt

    If in doubt Well-Known Member

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    i dont know how too, i'm only new. <cry>
     
    #10
    If in doubt, Apr 4, 2012

  11. Sam Axe

    Sam Axe Active Member

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    Click Add/Edit Tags at the bottom of the thread
     
    #11
    Sam Axe, Apr 4, 2012
  12. If in doubt

    If in doubt Well-Known Member

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    Thank you. I think it worked. How do you give rep?
     
    #12
    If in doubt, Apr 4, 2012
  13. Bib Fortuna's Maw

    Bib Fortuna's Maw Well-Known Member

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    Button that looks like a sherrif's badge - next to "blog this post"
     
    #13
    Bib Fortuna's Maw, Apr 4, 2012
  14. If in doubt

    If in doubt Well-Known Member

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    Cheers Bib. have some rep.
     
    #14
    If in doubt, Apr 4, 2012
  15. Kim Jong Il

    Kim Jong Il Well-Known Member

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    stop taking the piss venom <laugh>
     
    #15
    Kim Jong Il, Apr 4, 2012
  16. If in doubt

    If in doubt Well-Known Member

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    I'm nae venom ya big rapist twat <ok>
     
    #16
    If in doubt, Apr 4, 2012
  17. Kim Jong Il

    Kim Jong Il Well-Known Member

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    aye right, venom disappears and another yokel from aberdeen who seems to know alot about the other members turns up.
     
    #17
    Kim Jong Il, Apr 4, 2012
  18. If in doubt

    If in doubt Well-Known Member

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    Just been reading and laughing for a while since i was kicked off of ja. I'm really nae him. I expect an apology (hand job) when he turns back up <ok>
     
    #18
    If in doubt, Apr 4, 2012
  19. Brendan Rodgers Trannies

    Brendan Rodgers Trannies Active Member

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    You need to begin a strict regimen of anal clenching exercises. Begin by picking up large objects using only the power of your sphincter. Decrease the size of the objects till you're able to unscrew an Irn Bru bottle with your newly toned anus. As a party trick, offer to take the tops off beer bottles - it'll be a fantastic ice-breaker.
     
    #19
    Brendan Rodgers Trannies, Apr 4, 2012
  20. HRH Custard VC

    HRH Custard VC National Car Park Attendant

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    Take a piece of steak and Superglue it up your dirtbox

    Job done
     
    #20
    HRH Custard VC, Apr 4, 2012
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