I lost my keys

Hi guise , I was on the lash there and on the way home the oul tummy was rumbling so I took a **** in this carpark. I ve done it before and had to use my briefs to wipe.

This time was different though, I had to poke the **** out with my car key.anyhow I put the keys down to fix my trousrrs but then headed on my way forgetting the keys.

How could I go to the company whose carpark I used and ask if they found keys without being outed as a serial defecist ?

 

You could always ask by letter? You'd have to include a stool sample to prove your identity mind...

 

Just ask for the keys -you need them, they'll proabaly dump you though.

 

Check your arsehole. The keys may still be up there.

 

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You need one of those key-fobs with the flexi-cable attached. That way you will never lose your keys, but you will risk spattering **** all over your chinos as you stagger home.

 

So, did you get them.back?