I can get inside info on Chelsea WAGs

Hi Guys. just to let you no that I got a new job in london. I’m now an investment banker working in Kernairy Worf!

I got some new mates up here. There’s Tarquin (he supports Fulham), Charles (he supports Man Utd), Annabel (she supports Liverpool) and my boss Henrietta Fortescue-Smythe (she’s a Chelsea supporter).

They all went to Eton and have prawn sandwiches for lunch. They didn’t like it when i brought chips and curry source back in the office like.

My first day at work didn’t go two well. Apparently I was buying when i should have been selling - its really confusing. Henrietta called me into her office at the end of trading and said i lost the company £5 million!!

I said: “that can’t be right - you could buy Scott Sinclair for that”
She said: “Who’s Scott Sinclair?”
I said: “he’s Swansea City’s top scorer”
She said: “Never heard of him. And who are Swansea City?”
I said: “We just got promoted to the Premier Leeg”
She said: “I’ve never heard of Swansea City. Chelsea will take you to the cleaners”
I said: “it’s ok, we can wash our own kit, thanks”

Then she called me a horrible little oik. Don’t think she likes me like.

Anyway today she says I’ll be working on the hedge funds. She says it’s a very important five year project and I’ve been specially chosen. (I’m well chuffed like). Before the hedges can be funded they have to be trimmed, so she gave me a pair of shears and I have to trim every hedge in London. I’m starting in Uxbridge and going clockwise.

Or do you think I should go anti-clockwise?

 

What drugs are you on today ?

 

Jager, i think its the mushrooms>

 

Not your best Mr Gullible but still funny

 

Oh i dunno i think that one is defo up there with his best! Made me chuckle anyway!

5 Stars from me!

Sounds like the film Rogue Trader but with a comedy factor to it! lol

 

Strange one!......................

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I dont know about the mushrooms but the story is magic

 

I don't think they're hedges he's trimming but some other type of bush/plant. You probably got cofused Mr G when they told you to cut some grass and showed you a rather smelly bush with buds all over , didn't ya !

Thanks for cheering me up Mr G.

 

I doubt anyone from Eton works at Canary Wharf. They're all East End barrow boys.

 

I vote anti clockwise, or you could always do lines west to east working your way downwards!

 

"Mr_Gullible provides invaluable social comment and insight into those people working in investment banking and their perception that life stops at the M25" - The Times.

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