If we're to believe the rumour mongers, and God knows the number of times they get it wrong, then we're a heaving cauldron of cliques and inner conflicts: champs, chumps, Frenchies and Barton boys. All in all, a complete shambles destined for the downward spiral into the abyss, and deservedly so apparently. Whilst the three teams we've fielded this season around the two windows suggest certain affinities, I'm personally sceptical about hardened, impenetrable divides. No idea whether there's any truth in a scrap between Hill and Cisse, but there are simply too many cross-loyalties to form clear boundaries around the more obvious bondings. The 'Frenchies' for example, might all be African descent but all from different countries and cultures. Also, how well might Traore's strong Islamic beliefs sit with Cisse, a Muslim by birth who did the big nasty in converting to Christianity? However, since we're all getting so bored with the lack of games, goals, points, etc., much less lamenting sendings off or eternally doing Hughesy's job for him by coming up with best elevens and/or related formations, let's play a new game, eh? Let's imagine the rumours are true... Humour the Rumour is all about who you reckon would be in which QPR crew! Being such a modest mod, I'll go first - then you put me right... Seems one for CernyB this, perhaps with the help of a Wubba-type sauce! Here goes. Champs: Kenny, Hall, Hill, Derry, Faulin, Mackie, Smith and Helguson. Chumps: all those who haven't seen their name on the team sheet since the beginning of last season, if ever! Frenchies (easy): Cisse, Taarabt, Traore, Taiwo and Diakite. (R Block singing 'Allez les Rs' yet? Can't deny it's got a ring to it!) Barton boys: Joey, Young, Ferdinand, Gabbidon, SWP and Campbell (with Macheda as a can't-take-the-hint hanger on!). Just can't place the following though: Cerny, Hulse, Buzsaky - champs or chumps? Zamora, Bothroyd - Barton boys maybe? Onuoha - well schooled doctor's son - can't see him getting drawn in (reckon he'll be our next skipper tbh - remember, you heard it here first!) Your turn. Have a go - you'll find the more you think about all this clique culture stuff, the more ridiculous it gets!
If, as professionals who are there to do a job for an extremely good wage, they feel the need to organize themselves into competing gangs like 14 year old schoolboys, I would suggest that there is just one über group "immature weak characters". Sure headmaster Hughes will sort them out sharpish though, perhaps by confiscating their mobiles and making some stay behind after training.
Better communitcation is required. Maybe the problem could be solved if Hughes took French lessons. I did notice a card in a telephone box not far from the ground saying that Mme Sadie offered French lessons and discipline training locally. Just what Hughes needs. Unfortunately I forgot to take down the number. However, I am sure that our illustrious manager with his contacts could find someone similar to work with him and the team. (Worked wonders for Alex Ferguson and Wayne Rooney ... apparently.)
Be extremely careful with this Eamon!!! Madame Sadie's French & discipline lessons aren't what you think they are. I've been to see her and didn't learn one single French word. She stripped me naked and spanked my bare buttocks with a whip and then performed unspeakable acts on me. She then has the cheek to charge £200 for this blatant fraud. I've fallen for this ruse four times last week, be careful chaps.
2 ways to stop this, drop Barton in the reserves and ban foreign languages from being spoken at the club unless someone cant speak english.
I have a French O Level, do you think she'll be able to assist me with the A Levels, Nines? (if not I don't mind resitting the O Level )
Careful Flyer, you are straying into human rights territory, banning languages........Anyway why can't Sparky, Bowen, Eddie and the other one natter to each other in Welsh if they want?
It's pretty clear they are nattering to each other in Welsh or at least a language that the players can't understand.
personally, I reckon a bit of the ole Del Boy french (lingo and phrases ) would work and help team spirit. Bonjour
Welsh should be the 1st language banned, it wont be good for morale to have half the team dripping in phlegm every time a couple of sentences are spoken!
To be perfectly fair, hanging around in groups isn't a problem, it's only when they don't bother speaking to each other or when they start thinking they're better than the others (judging by performances I doubt any of them would have the nerve). My suggestion, a mixed clique Wii bowling tournament (against a 8'x16' background of a sunset in the Algarve just for nostalgia) should do the trick. All standard rules and conditions apply. In the event of a tie, the winner shall be decided in a best of 3 thumb war competition.
Maybe a QPR clique five-a-side tournament would sort a few egos out. Chances are it'd be the only competition where all teams lost every game?!!
I'm wondering whether Joey will allow Macheda to be a Barton Boy now. Didn't I read the Italian lad is in trouble for twittering homophobic comments. What with Joey's uncle being gay and all...
By the way, aren't Hill and Barton apparently good mates? On the Hill and Cisse punch up.........there may have been something, but Hill certainly didn't have a broken nose. He was stood right in front of me on Saturday and I had a good look at his nose...no damage whatsoever. (Not sure he could have played with a busted hooter either!) I'm sure there are divisions, but I'm equally sure they get blown up out of all proportions. It's not an unusual thing to have different social groups within a team.
