Evening everyone. Here I am, sat at home. I was finally allowed home today. The "treatment" is far from over, but I can at last put the stupidest action I have ever done behind me, and work on my future. I'v had a lot of problems in my life, most of which I have never shared with anybody. This proved to be vey stupid of me, but being the proud child/man that I am, I'v always kept them under lock and key in my head. These problems have risen to the top on many an occassion, with various people being in the firing line. This time, I was in the firing line. Leading up to my decision to end everything, I was in a very dark place. I have never felt like I did that day. I felt useless, and thought that my nearest and dearest would be better off without me. I hadn't eaten in three days, and didn't speak a word. I found myself at home on Saturday, and that's when I, or my head, made the decision. I wrote a letter, and that was that. I spent the next few days with a machine breathing for me, uknown to me I was still alive. I "died" 3 times, but came through them all. I woke with my best friend, my wife, my two sisters and my father at my side. I immediately burst into tears, but was unsure of what had happened. My wife broke the news, and, I was as shocked as I still am now. I couldn't believe what I had done. It was then that I realised I was a very sick person and that I did need help. Help I am now recieving. I will be eternally grateful to the doctors that saved my life, and am overjoyed that I have been given a second chance. I am of course still very unwell, but am having daily counselling which is helping me destroy my demons. My family now know exactly what I had been through in my 25 years of existance, and whilst horrified, were thankful that I had finally revealed everything. It is a huge relief ana weight off my shoulder. You guys on here, and ever other board, have been brilliant. Your messages of support really perked me up, and helped me in realising that I have every reason to live. I can never thankyou enough, and words don't come close to explaining how touched I was. I will never, ever forget each and every one of your kind words. I won't be posting a huge amount, but now I am home, I will be posting. My counsillor believes it will help me getting my normal life back on track. She thinks everyone accossiated with me should know my demons to help them, and me, to understand, bu I think it should be kept off a forum. It's great to be back, and I can honestly say I made the greatest mistake possible last Saturday.One that will not be repeated. My life starts again from here. All the respect in the world, Ash!
Ash, take your time fella and look after yourself, now it"s out there the people around you can support and help you. The message board is nothing compared to a persons well being, so take care and come back when you're ready.
Thankyou for your kind words Taff. I did kind of hope I'd wake up and find Cardiff had dropped to 4th or something......No such luck. Lol.
Welcome back Bud ........... Use this time to relax and recharge ..... All the very best to You and your loved ones
Ash...this is wonderful news and I hope you can get all the help you need and work your way back to where you wnat to be. You have a good family support network it seems, you've got a counsellor and you've got us.....well nothing's perfect!!!! but if therre is anyhting that can be done to help, you've got to get on here and ask. There's little enough we can do but every little helps and we'll do our best. On your other point, just wait a while and we will be 4th...in the Premiership!!!!! well a man can dream.....and after fifty years of it, somehting must come right now and then.
Great to see post here, as you can see all Cardiff fans were on your side. This has cheered me up so thanks for coming along. jck
i've just come back from a drab match, freezing cold, but honestly i dont care when i see news like this. welcome back ash, like i said on the thread, you've a long and happy life with your family ahead of you mate, make the most of it........
Ash, Great to see you posting mate, take your time and spend some time with love ones. Thawing out after a terror display by the Bluebirds, how we got a draw only god knows. Stay well, we're all behind you.
Morning Ash, I didnt get on here last night but great to see you're on the road to recovery. Personally, I've never had the 'demons' but I know a few people who have beaten theirs so you can do it mate... one step at a time If it helps to get some normality back in your life, all I can say is.... get back to your own board you dirty peg selling, caravan dwelling, benefit claiming gypo (j/k) get well soon Ash
Welcome back. I posted a couple of messages on the Swansea board as have a few of us on here. My sister is (was) a fellow sufferer so have some idea what you are going through. The key is to seek help and get the correct medication. This can take some time to get right but if her experience is anything to go by it is highly possible that you can get over your difficulties. It sounds as though you are receiving good support and that's great. I'm really glad that you are over the worst.
Welcome back Ash. Great to see you on the road to recovery and posting again. I'm sure we can rely on your support in getting us to the Prem. Just think of all those "low key" derby matches we will enjoy again.
no need 2 say fk all ash dude....the main thing is your ok,your life will take on new meaning as you now know how important it is dude>>>.chin up kick on and enjoy the rest of your life butty ...........so glad it didnt go the other way for your family friends and more importantly yourself.. cheers dude good health 2 you and everyone else reading
Ta guys. Bridgend, my support to get you to the prem? Dream on lol. Squeaky bum time for you, but i still can't see you blowing it.
