He is the messiah! No he isn't, he broke my team!

On the 15th of May 2007, a certain podgy pie-eater signed a three-year contract with Newcastle United. Blessed with all the good looks of a Llama's anus, the sweat control of a christian priest with only 10 minutes before the end of Sunday school, and the footballing tactics of a sunday league rugby club, Samuel Allardyce arrived to steady the ship with no-nonesense football.
On the 9th of January 2008, he was gone, leaving in his wake a club perceived as going backwards and a massive shortfall in half-time pastries due to the stupendous compensation he received. Why? Well, poor results and the rocketing whiplash claiments from around the ground craining their necks to see the ball would not ensure job security these days. He did bring in a young Jose, King Beye and Joey Barton (along with some truly woeful players like Cacapa), but none of these would hit the heights with Sam at the helm...
In retrospect, with the fans failing to warm to him from the off, it would have taken a Pardew-esque run to turn it around for him. Now you look at Steve Kean, who happened to replace the man with whom this article started, and I can't help but make some weird comparison, in my admittedly perverted mind, to try and draw a long-winded and pointless conclusion.
As far as I am aware, Sam was not just roundly shaped, but applauded and perhaps even liked at Blackburn, if not coming close to what has to be seen as deserved reverence at Bolton. However, towards the end of this reign, some grumbles among the congregation at Ewood were surfacing, which lead to some quarters being pleased with his eventual termination. He had them 13th. Roeder had us around mid-table, and he too garnered mixed reactions from the support before his demise.
Now Steve Kean is hardly pressing for manager of the month, but he has had protests planned and executed against him pretty consistently since his appointment to the permanent position, with these incidents usually surprisingly coming after better Rovers' displays, not unlike those against Allardyce... His football, in slight departure from Sam, is seemingly much more floor-orientated... His team have had little spent on it in ages... So why does he have so much pressure on him at present? Is it simply because of results? Would we have given Sam more time to inflict neck-ache if we had beaten Derby soundly twice and picked up more points...?
Obviously the sad answer is yes... Because, as Pardew says, the "crowd will forgive everything if you win"... But that isn't it, is it? It seems in the technology boom, we want everything now, and are accustomed to getting it at cost. This includes good football, three-goal winning margins and european football most years. For a £500 season ticket, you practically demand it.

Are you happy with that mentality? Refreshingly, I think we've mellowed a bit in Ashley's tenure. The crowd has adapted a sort of symbiotic "enjoy it while it lasts" psyche, because Mike has been content removing the good in recent seasons. It's something I've noticed from the Championship season to this, and it's something I hope we take on, because it's been brilliant watching the team grow in the last few years. We went through a few games under Chris where we played awfully, and we've seen some poor displays under Pardew (Wigan etc), but instead of getting on the manager's back, we have lifted the team wonderfully.

Yay. That wasted a few minutes

 

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Yay. That wasted a few minutes

This. Now that much closer to lunch.

I don't really have anything to go with it though :/

 

You aren't the Messiah, you're a very naughty boy!

 

I'm putting off annotating and criticing other people's work, instead choosing to do yours...

I can't ever agree with anyone who says we should've kept Allardyce. Keeping Allardyce would mean keeping everything that was wrong with our club and missing out on everything that has been brilliant over the past 3 seasons...

Under Allardyce we might have, if not probably would've stayed up. But with that, we would've given Owen anotehr contract, kept Duff, played Smith and played 'le hoofball' until the cows came home and subsequently died of boredom!

Under Allardyce we (as fans) would never have reset our expectations, we'd have never mingled with 'true' fans, like the Green Army of Plymouth or the friendliest of Posh fans. We'd never have understood the importance of a manager keeping his mouth, respectfully shut (Hughton) nor the dangers of hiring one who finds it impossible (Kinnear). We'd never have had the opportunity to allow our faultering players that extra second of time on the ball. We'd never have had Forrest in the rear view mirror, nor the opportunity to turn down the open bus tour. We'd never have given Sunderland those 3 years of being 'top dog' (chuckles at the ridiculousness of that statement) so the chip on their shoulder could heal ever so slightly - paving the way for what is, at the moment, a fair amicable relationship.

Under Allardyce we'd never have Le Revolution that we're having now and we'd be nowhere near the top of the table.

Most importantly though, under Allardye, I don't think I'd be enjoying being a Newcastle fan anywhere near as much as I am now!

 

I think you misunderstand me sir, but in a fashion which is not entirely inappropriate because of the confusing trailing off of the article... I agree. Allardyce was shocking for this club... If I could have been arsed making the coherent article I'd intended, it would have made that point clear. As it was, I was hungry and, when avoiding work, you quickly become bored of distractions which end up like work!

Anyway... secretly I just wanted to incorporate the phrase "llama's anus" in connection to big Sam, but the Blackburn forum is lifeless because everyone is too busy setting up the stake, lighting the fire and chanting incomprehensible latin to bother to write articles...

 

Took me a minute. Classic though, truly classic.

 

Excellent usage of 'llamas anus' there and for that reason I'm in.

 

Yes