JOKE OF THE DAY A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But, being pay-day, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check. When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him. âHow would you like it if you didnât see me for two or three days?â To which he replied. âThat would be fine with me.â Monday went by and he didnât see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Here is a few funny videos [video=youtube;3dWDTaf3Ii8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=3dWDTaf3Ii8[/video] [video=youtube;UO9A4p1Qsvk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=UO9A4p1Qsvk[/video] [video=youtube;tFG4gZBV9U8]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=tFG4gZBV9U8[/video]
Man was visiting churches in Northumberland, when he spotted a golden telephone with a sign that said £5,000 per call. Each of the churches he visited had one, so he asked why the calls were so expensive. 'Hotline to God' he was told - 'you get to speak to the Almighty himself!' 'Wow' he thought. 'I'll have to save up and give it a go. Then he continued his tour across the Tyne in Durham. First church he visits has the same golden telephone' but the cost is only 50p. 'Why so cheap?' He asks the priest, who winks and says 'local call!' (Nicked from FB)
PROUD DADDY !!!!!!! Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party... After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.' The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.' The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire... He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.' The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?' One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons... What about your son?' The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.' The three friends said: 'What a shame... What a disappointment.' The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.
A man walks into a cocktail bar and asks for a double entendre. So the barmaid give him one Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "how do you drive this thing?" Don't pick on a ******ed dwarf. It's not big and it's not clever.
