Harry Redknapp has instructed his advisors to find him one last job before he retires. Redknapp, who turns 68 next month is keen on finishing his career somewhere warm and has asked his agent to sound out available clubs. Redknapp who resigned from his position as Queens Park Pikey's manager last week is super confident of making a quick full recovery from money withdrawal. Redknapp's agent Mr A Daley has reported that premier league crisis club Manchester United are keen to replace Luis Van Gaal (long ball). Whereas the move to Manchester from Sandbanks would normally be a few degrees lower this time of year but the thought of inheriting an unlimited transfer fund and players filming colleagues having sex in the clubs toilets and sending selfies of their private parts is sure to raise the temperature no end. Sources within the club are unhappy with the selection of Van Gaal (long ball) in the first place. It is understood that United icon Bobby Combover is furious with those who thought they were getting a Dutch master like Rinus Michels the inventor of 'Total Football' when what they really got was Van Gaal & 'Total Bollocks'. Thoughts gentlemen..........
Wobbly Chops must have sought out some decent Golf courses in Cheshire to even entertain a move to Man Utd.
Apparently, Van Gaal has gone to the trouble of producing a four page document to refute Allarshite's "allegations" that Utd use long ball tactics. Its full of charts, stats, etc, that supposedly show that the Spammers play more long ball football that Utd. Perhaps somebody at Utd could explain to him what a wind-up is? It's an ancient British custom. I somehow can't see the Dutch robot grasping the concept!
Actually one of the stats he produced showed how many long balls United made and it was twice as many as West Ham ! So he obviously doesn't get our British humour or understand maths! On talksport yesterday they produced optima stat that shows United are second in the long ball league
