Happy St Andrew's Day

Hoots Mon

 

No' even a proper holiday. Most of us still have to work. Apart from Aldo. Because he's unemployed.

 

Who’s Saint Andrew? Is he the overweight alcoholic one who is an embarrassment to everybody?

No, hold on...think that’s Prince Andrew. So why is he the patron saint of Scotland then? Confused here.

 

Cos he chased all the papes out of Scotland.

 

They came back though I believe?

 

In his helicopter?

 

Unfortunately yes. Overrun these days. Place is ****ed

 

‘Mon the Romans

 

It was a holy helicopter. The chopper of the lord

 

Is that what the priest said to you <lapsedtaig>

 

He anointed me with his holy rod

 

St Andrew was crucified by the Romans in whole lot more interesting way than that cùnt Jesus.

 

My wife bought us tickets to see Jo Brand, and I'll admit it, I pissed myself.

Any excuse to leave early.

 

Is that one of her jokes?

(Jo Brand I mean, not your wife).

 

* Jo Jitsu

 

Happy St Andrews day for me, my employers - being the progressive organisation that they are - decided several years ago to add this as a bank holiday.

Splendid

 

So you work in a bank?

 

Boom boom.

Nah, education.

 

Strange place Scotland:

Nae greetin' about not being able to fly 'your' flag.
Nae greetin' about it not being a day on the lash.
Nae greetin' about ashamed to be Scottish.
Nae greetin' about being thought to be racists.

Ho-hum!

 

Watching Good Morning Britain, they break to go to 10 Downing Street for urgent news!

The Christmas Tree has arrived, all the way from Scotland!

Apparently, a farm won a competition to provide it?

Really? Stole it more like! like they steal All of Scotland’s resources!


SNPers really are ****ing nutters