You have 1 hour to answer the following question. Answers must be delivered by fax machine. You may not bring your 'Sky Sports Book of Understands' or any other material with you into this exam. You are asked about you interest in re-signing Djimi 'Bambi On Ice' Traore, the famous veteran defender, do you: a) Read up on Harry Redknapp's Wheeler Dealing For Dummies and address not only this transfer but everyone else's, claiming clubs are interested in various players and referring to 40% of all professional football players as 'Triffic' b) Utilise the infamous Ferguson Method and categorically deny any truth in the rumor through official statements and interviews, even suggesting 'the boy' may be going elsewhere, right up until the day that you sign them. c) Follow Mancini's Law of Bull$hit- being economical with the truth, making up false deadlines and claiming deals are done in advance for either a disruptive, temperamental forward or yet another defensive midfielder. Etiquette is unimportant as receiving club is likely to receive £20mil above market value. d) Consistently claim you will not talk about other clubs' players and follow this code, setting an example to others how business should be conducted. Typically known as the Dalglish Equation e) Refuse to sell any player unless your cut of the transfer is substantial enough to invest in a lifetime supply of earplugs, so that you don't have to listen to your self-indulgent west country interviews. The Holloway/Oyston/Let's be a Bellend Trifecta. f) Cry tender Gollum tears because it's been so long you actually bought a player you find the whole idea overwhelming. Known by leading North West visionaries as the David Moyes Begging Bowl Conundrum g) Aggravate people simply by being French, a method typically attributed to the famous scholar Damien Comolli (citation needed)
H.You pay over the odds for a player you have never seen play and over the odds is paying £8 million for a player that was rejected by another for free,
djimi traore- saviour in Istanbul http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WdY6OI2uXg (4.00) but i'll always remember him for: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh4aarbLfeA
