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Geordie-Mackem Friday Night Banter Club

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Dec 21, 2012.

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  1. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    Anybody fancy some banter? Only terrible jokes allowed, so there's obviously lots of material given our respective league positions!

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    One day a Newcastle supporting cowboy and his Sunderland supporting Native american side-kick are riding through the desert. After a few miles of riding with nobody in sight, the Sunderland supporting Native American side-kick stops his horse, dismounts and puts his ear to the ground.

    "Howay man, wits up lyk?" Asks the Newcastle supporting cowboy.

    "Buffalo come" Replies the Sunderland supporting Native American side-kick.

    "How d' ya kna lyk?" Queries the Newcastle supporting cowboy, looking frantically around for signs of the beasts.

    "Is sticky on face." Answers the Sunderland supporting Native American side-kick.



    .................@...............>..................................@..................>....................................@.................>................................@.........>............


    "...How d' ya kna it was a Buffalo who cummed here?" Responds the Newcastle supporting cowboy, repulsed by the Native American Mackem now licking himself.

    The Sunderland supporting Native American side-kick smiles simply and says... "I makem!"






    *Disclaimer: before anyone gets upset, you should know that I don't believe that's how Native American's talk at all, it's just a stupid racist stereotype... Mackems, on the other hand <whistle>*
     
    #1
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Dec 21, 2012
  2. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Ooh, you are awful, but I like you!
     
    #2
    Agent Bruce, Dec 21, 2012
  3. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    Why does Santa now use boxes to deliver presents over the North-East?

    Because he gets too many requests to give the Newcastle and Sunderland managers the sack each Christmas <ok>
     
    #3
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Dec 21, 2012
  4. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    What does a mackem lass have on her knickers?.... Next ;)
     
    #4
    Albert's Chip Shop, Dec 21, 2012
  5. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    A Geordie and his American bride are lying in bed on Christmas eve... Suddenly they hear tipping and tapping on the roof...
    The wife turns to the husband with nervous disbelief... "Do you hear reindeer?"
    The Geordie husband replies "Of course it's raining... It's f-ing Newcastle, get used to it..."
     
    #5
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Dec 21, 2012
  6. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    What was the Geordie's name? I know somebody that married an American.
     
    #6
    Agent Bruce, Dec 21, 2012
  7. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    What does a Mackem put on top of a Christmas tree? A picture of a Newcastle player. Thank Shola we're such close neighbours, or they'd never know what a star looked like <ok>
     
    #7
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Dec 21, 2012
  8. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Welcome to the 1,000 Club Gandalf! <ok>
     
    #8
    Agent Bruce, Dec 21, 2012
  9. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    As a bairn I used to (under duress) go to Roker park pretty regular..,
     
    #9
    Albert's Chip Shop, Dec 21, 2012
  10. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    Thanks AB... Might go and cash it all in on a holiday to Sweden <ok>

    By the way, how come Sunderland have a guy in trial called Albert Bruce? :emoticon-0112-wonde You don't have to stand on ACS' shoulders under a long trench coat and set-up a football trial to take the piss out of them you know, we have this thread <laugh>
     
    #10
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Dec 21, 2012

  11. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Does that mean I can have two holidays in Sweden? I knew this rep would come in handy one day.
     
    #11
    Agent Bruce, Dec 21, 2012
  12. LTF

    LTF Well-Known Member

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    I must confess..............Me too! :emoticon-0101-sadsm:
    I'm going for the West Ham game which I believe is in January, but that is between you and I ACS, not to be repeated, no matter what! :bandit:
     
    #12
    LTF, Dec 21, 2012
  13. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    To be honest, I have often thought (and been mocked for having that thought) about going to a game, as at least a neutral, on occasion... Football is football, I reasoned...

    But to be fair they reasoned well back, on the grounds I'd stick out like a saw thumb... and they're right, one man in an empty stand would look ridiculous <laugh>
     
    #13
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Dec 21, 2012
  14. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    Mackems call Geordies "the barcodes"... But that doesn't scan with me.
     
    #14
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Dec 21, 2012
  15. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    The walls have ears.
     
    #15
    Agent Bruce, Dec 21, 2012
  16. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Hope you don't go down in January for it, we don't play them down there till May.

    How are you intending to get there?

    Could walk it if you set off in January.
     
    #16
    Agent Bruce, Dec 21, 2012
  17. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    Even the ones in Sunderland do, the only difference between ours and theirs is that ours have lips too, while theirs are dumb...


    Just like their bridges :biggrin:
     
    #17
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Dec 21, 2012
  18. LTF

    LTF Well-Known Member

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    I do believe ACS was referring to going to watch Sunderland playing at home, I'm sure they play West Ham at home in Jan, anyway, I shall be attending with my West Ham friend, it's dirty work, but someone has to do it! :bandit:
     
    #18
    LTF, Dec 21, 2012
  19. TheJudeanPeoplesFront

    TheJudeanPeoplesFront Well-Known Member

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    I'm disheartened by the lack of Mackems on here... If one of them had have given me a heads up that their poundshop was open this late I could have got my Xmas shopping in too...
     
    #19
    TheJudeanPeoplesFront, Dec 21, 2012
  20. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Oops, thought you meant you were going to Upton Park. You couldn't very well go to the ground that ACS was talking about though, the Mackems play at the SOS, not Roker.
     
    #20
    Agent Bruce, Dec 21, 2012
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