Or... Friday funnies, take your pick. THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY WELSH GIRL!! Three friends married women from different parts of the world..... The first man married a Greek girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. ... The second man married a Thai girl. He gave his wife orders that she... ...............was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table. The third man married a girl from WALES . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. The first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything either but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he urinates..
My elder brother took it quite badly when he was told to go to jail. He screamed obscenities, spat at people, kicked some and wiped excrement on the walls. We don't play Monopoly on Sundays anymore.
One for the older on here who actually remember them. My ex-girlfriend realised she'd wasted a trip to Ireland when she found out a 21" Murphy was a television set.
Q. Why dont blind men skydive? A. Because it scares the **** out of the dog Q. Where do you find a one legged dog? A. Where you left it. Q. What do you call a gay dinosaur? A. Mega-saur-ass Q. Whats the difference between a wife and a girlfriend ? A. 3 Stone ! Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Pink fluff holding it's breath
Joey Barton must be one annoying ****. He's only been there for 6 months and the whole of France is emigrating to Newcastle. (from sickipedia)
Q. what is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? A. Acne usually comes on a boys' face after he turns 12 Q. What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs ???...... A. A clit around the ear and a flap across the face Q. What do a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common? A. They can smell it but they cant eat it!
I asked the missus to toss me off last night, she got her keyring out and started rubbing up and down my shaft, typical I thought, fobbing me off again Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female. The female egg says "Look, I've got a crack" "No good telling me" replies the male egg "I'm not hard yet"
