This made me giggle this morning, especially the email exchanges at the end http://wp.me/p3ZwCv-9 Dear Yorkshire Having now had time to study the new seating arrangements that you have imposed on your customers for next season I wish to make some observations: I, along with my friend, have been occupying the Western Terrace at Headingley for the past 30 years and have enjoyed the view from mid-wicket during this period. My friend and I also like to attend in fancy dress. I dress, rather somberly, as Compo from the now decommissioned, but still very popular BBC series ‘Last of the Summer Wine”. In my opinion it was a tragedy that the series was taken off by the BBC, and if I paid my licence fee I would have had no hesitation in sending a strongly worded letter to the head of the BBC. I digress. My friend likes to go dressed as a pantomime dame in what can only be described as a brightly coloured ridiculous outfit. He’s such a wag. This has led to the occasional fight with the spectators sat behind us as my friend refuses to remove his hat, so as not to diminish the overall effect of the costume. His hat consists of a very large fruit basket. And I suspect the overlarge bananas (not real) may restrict the view from those sat behind us. There have been occasions where he has been bombarded with beer cans in a futile attempt to dislodge the hat. I sometimes despair about the lack of throwing accuracy of some Yorkshire folk, and Indeed I have suggested they take up some fielding drills the next time they are sober. It seems now that after all these years that we are no longer welcome in our accustomed position at mid-wicket while wearing fancy dress. It appears one of your committee’s has decided this is no longer acceptable. I have a few issues to raise regarding the definition of ‘fancy dress’. My preferred option of attending in fancy dress as Compo would exclude me from entry. If Compo, himself, were to turn up, wearing the exact cloths as myself. Would he be refused entry? My friend at the moment describes himself as a ‘Pantomime Dame”. Should he at some point in future declare himself to be a transvestite ( I have often wondered about him in this regard). Would he be allowed in ? I’m sure there is some regulation filed away in Brussels that prevents discrimination against transvestites and I would suggest you may be on a sticky wicket by refusing entry. In fact if I #digin deep enough to the European Human Rights legislation it will probably be unlawful to discriminate against Pantomime Dames. I will soon be making arrangements for my attendance next year and would be grateful if you could clarify the issues I raise. Obviously if we are no longer welcome in fancy dress at our mid wicket position, then my friend and I will need to make alternative arrangements. I believe Old Trafford offer good viewing positions at mid wicket for fans of fancy dress. I look forward to your considered reply. Yours Fred Boycott Pudsey (My friend wishes to remain anonymous). E MAIL Exchanges below: On 14 Oct 2013, at 10:40, Andy Dawson wrote: Many thanks for your email. I would be delighted to meet up with you to discuss the various issues you have raised. If you could please contact me and let me know when you are available, I will look forward to meeting with you. Kind Regards, Andy Andy Dawson Commercial Director The Yorkshire County Cricket Club Tel: 08716203605 Mob: 07807015854 From: FredBoycott [mailto:[email protected]] Sent: 14 October 2013 14:21 To: Andy Dawson Subject: Re: The Western Terrace Andy. Many thanks for you kind invitation. I would be delighted to meet up with you to discuss further. You may or not be aware that I am currently banned from Headingley. Please see attached Yorkshire Post press cutting. This ban is the reason why I have to wear fancy dress when attending matches. I may have been a little disingenuous by stating I attend in fancy dress. It is actually a disguise. In order to facilitate our meeting it will be required to get this banning order lifted by the West Yorkshire Police. If you could explain the situation to them I’m sure they will be most helpful. Alternatvely I could meet you at my net facility here in Pudsey. I would make you very welcome and supply a pot of Yorkshire Tea and some fig rolls (my favourite). I would charge you no more than the Headingley catering price for these refreshments. £6.50 should cover it. I thank you for your kind offer to meet. In fact if you are able to get my banning order lifted then I would not need fancy dress / disguise to attend matches and the problem would be solved. My friend would of course still have an issue, amongst the many other issues he has. But to be honest I’m getting a little fed up with the abuse we get ovr his hat so I may consider ditching him as a friend and attending alone. I wish you well. Digin and Plodon Fred Boycott. PUDSEY. On 14 Oct 2013, at 14:31, Andy Dawson wrote: Hi Fred, I would be delighted to meet you at your facility in Pudsey. Please provide a couple of dates and times and I will look forward to meeting you. Kind Regards, Andy Andy Dawson Commercial Director The Yorkshire County Cricket Club Tel: 08716203605 Mob: 07807015854 Andy, Thanks for offering to call round. I am available tomorrow and Wednesday after my morning net session finishing at 6.00am. I will then be available up to 7.00am as I am then needed for lollipop duty at the local school. I am Yorkshires greatest stopper of traffic. I can block anything that comes my way. Prior to you coming, if you wish to partake of refreshments, as detailed in my earlier email, I must insist on the payment of the £6.50 up front. Sorry to have to do this but I had a visitor in 1968 that left without paying. For your information my nets are situated at: 1 Pavilion Way, PUDSEY, LS28 7WH Please bang on the gate 4 times so I know it’s you. (Be careful of the barbed wire). I look forward to meeting you. Just let me know which day you are coming. PS. Don’t forget the money. Digin and Plodon Fred Boycott. —————————————————- As expected, Andy failed to show.
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