Caught half of a thread on my other half's forum on best and worst cliches. Examples such as "That's the worst start possible" when 1-0 down to an early goal. Conceivably, the stadium crashing under a hail of fire and brimstone would be worse. In our house, the classic "The keeper made himself big" always gets juvenile chuckles. Anyone have any personal favourites or ones that particularly grate?
Handbags They've set their stall out early Early doors Sick as a parrot The gaffer The frequent use of the word "hopefully" when an interviewed player or manager is talking about the chances of all the hard work on the training pitch translating to a match situation, or when a player is describing his confidence that his recent big money move will result on the type of form that he was acquired for. My word Quick feet A good two-footed player Gael Clichy
The new West Stand casts a giant shadow over the entire pitch, even on a sunny day." (CHRIS JONES, Evening Standard) "What will you do when you leave football, Jack -- will you stay in football?" (STUART HALL, Radio 5 Live) "Unfortunately, we keep kicking ourselves in the foot." (RAY WILKINS, speaking on BBC1) "I've got a gut feeling in my stomach..." (ALAN SUGAR, speaking on BBC1) "I would not say he [David Ginola] is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better." (RON AKTINSON in a TV interview) "Johnson has revelled in the 'hole' behind Dwight Yorke..." (Carling FA Premiership WWW Page) "An inch or two either side of the post and that would have been a goal." (DAVE BASSETT, speaking on Sky Sports) "Both sides have scored a couple of goals, and both sides have conceded a couple of goals." (PETER WITHE, speaking on Radio 5 Live) "You don't score 64 goals in 86 games at the highest level without being able to score goals." (ALAN GREEN, speaking on Radio 5 Live) "What's it like being in Bethlehem, the place where Christmas began? I suppose it's like seeing Ian Wright at Arsenal...." (SIMON FANSHAWE, speaking on Talk Radio) "And we all know that in football if you stand still you go backwards..." (PETER REID, Tyne Tees Sport Special) "I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for goalies is between their legs..." (ANDY GRAY, Sky Sports) "The lad got over-excited when he saw the whites of the goalpost's eyes." (STEVE COPPELL, Radio 5 Live) "They [Rosenborg] have won 66 games, and they've scored in all of them." (BRIAN MOORE, ITV) "If you can't stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the kitchen." (TERRY VENABLES, Capital Gold) "The lads really ran their socks into the ground." (ALEX FERGUSON) "He [Brian Laudrup] wasn't just facing one defender -- he was facing one at the front and one at the back as well." (TREVOR STEVEN, STV) "It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the score on Saturday." (Radio 5 Live) "...but Arsenal are quick to credit Bergkamp with laying on 75% of their nine goals." (TONY GUBBA, BBC Match of the Day) "...an excellent player, but he [Ian Wright] does have a black side." (GARY LINEKER, BBC) "That's twice now he [Terry Phelan] has got between himself and the goal." (BRIAN MARWOOD, Radio 5 Live) "Mark Hughes at his very best: he loves to feel people right behind him..." (KEVIN KEEGAN) "Football today, it's like a game of chess. It's all about money." (NEWCASTLE UNITED FAN, Radio 5 Live) "Gary always weighed up his options, especially when he had no choice." (KEVIN KEEGAN, Radio 5 Live) "We threw our dice into the ring and turned up trumps." (BRUCE RIOCH, ITV) "And I suppose they [Spurs] are nearer to being out of the FA Cup now than any other time since the first half of this season, when they weren't ever in it anyway." (JOHN MOTSON, BBC) "... and he crosses the line with the ball almost mesmerically tied to his foot with a ball of string..." (IAN DARKE, Radio 5) "I never make predictions and I never will." (PAUL GASCOIGNE) "And there's Ray Clemence looking as cool as ever out in the cold." (JIMMY HILL) "....and the news from Guadalajara where the temperature is 96 degrees, is that Falcao is warming up." (BRIAN MOORE) "If history is going to repeat itself I should think we can expect the same thing again." (TERRY VENABLES) "I'm not a believer in luck..... but I do believe you need it." (ALAN BALL) "The Uruguayans are losing no time in making a meal around the referee." (MIKE INGHAM) "Celtic manager Davie Hay still has a fresh pair of legs up his sleeve." (JOHN GREIG) "I spent four indifferent years at Goodison Park, but they were great years." (MARTIN HODGE) "Souness gave Fleck a second chance and he grabbed it with both feet." (JAMES SANDERSON) "They have missed so many chances they must be wringing their heads in shame." (RON GREENWOOD) "It's headed away by John Clark, using his head." (DEREK RAE) "Tottenham are trying tonight to become the first London team to win this Cup. The last team to do so was the 1973 Spurs side." (MIKE INGHAM) "He's very fast and if he gets a yard ahead of himself nobody will catch him." (BOBBY ROBSON) "The shot from Laws was precise but wide." (ALAN PARRY) "The game is balanced in Arsenal's favour." (JOHN MOTSON) "Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be any different." (TREVOR BROOKING) "You have got to miss them to score sometimes." (DAVE BASSETT) "Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead." (TOM FERRIE) "And I honestly believe we can go all the way to Wembley......unless somebody knocks us out." (DAVE BASSETT) "And Arsenal now have plenty of time to dictate the last few seconds." (PETER JONES) "Bobby Robson must be thinking of throwing some fresh legs on." (KEVIN KEEGAN) "What makes this game so delightful is that when both teams get the ball they are attacking their opponents goal." (JIMMY HILL) "That's football, Mike, Northern Ireland have had several chances and haven't scored but England have had no chances and scored twice." (TREVOR BROOKING) "...and so they have not been able to improve their 100% record." (SPORTS ROUNDUP) "In terms of the Richter Scale this defeat was a force eight gale." (JOHN LYALL) "I would also think that the action replay showed it to be worse than it actually was." (RON ATKINSON) "Certain people are for me and certain people are pro me." (TERRY VENABLES) "I'm going to make a prediction - it could go either way." (RON ATKINSON) "And with 4 minutes gone, the score is already 0-0." (IAN DARK) "They have got their feet on the ground and if they stay that way they will go places." (JOHN GIDMAN) "Being naturally right-footed he doesn't often chance his arm with his left foot." (TREVOR BROOKING) "Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." (DAVID ACFIELD) "What I said to them at half time would be unprintable on the radio." (Gerry Francis) "If we played like this every week, we wouldn't be so inconsistant." (Bryan Robson 1990) "John Harkes going to Sheffield, Wednesday." New York Post (1993) "If there weren't such a thing as football, we'd all be frustrated footballers." (Mick Lyons) "He's one of those footballers whose brains are in his head." (Derek Johnstone - BBC TV Scotland 1994) "The crowd think that Todd handled the ball.... they must have seen something that nobody else did." (Barry Davies 1975) "I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel" (Stuart Pearce 1992) "They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Highway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different" (Kevin Keegan) "Glenn Hoddle hasn't been the Hoddle we know. Neither has Bryan Robson." (Ron Greenwood) "There's no way Ryan Giggs is another George Best. He's another Ryan Giggs." (Denis Law) "The only thing I have in common with George Best is that we come from the same place..play for the same club..and were discovered by the same man." (Norman Whiteside) "I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat." (Ron Atkinson 1979) "For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip." (John Motson - BBC TV) "I don't think there is anybody bigger or smaller than Maradona." (Kevin Keegan) Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence Terry, what chance do you think Germany has got of getting through?" Terry Venables: "I think it's fifty - fifty"
I do love the "good feet for a big man" but the concept of "scoring at the wrong time" leaves me cold.
"There's contact"!! Its not a non-contact sport! "They scored too early"! He should hit the ball wide then? "At the end of the day" Its only five O'Clock. "Obviously, as I said" Did you?
I'm delighted to be joining such an ambitious club and TF really sold the project to me Form is temporary, class is permanent We were beaten by a better team Really pleased with the performance just not the result Unbelievable Jeff El girafa Crouch - fox sports We were poor today We'd have beaten anyone today
Yeah! ****ing 'obviously'. The footballer's gateway to cognitive speech. The word that signals they're they're a bit more than a pair of nimble feet... obviously!
The lads gave it everything You can only beat what's put in front of you The team needs time to gell It won't happen again We were dreadful/outstanding today If he tried that again 99 times he wouldn't score We've just seen the save/goal of the season They haven't kept a clean sheet for x number of games Totally against the run of play
Hate that "fantastically well" thing that you hear from players, managers and pundits. He either played fantastically, or he played well. Bad grammar and you can't have both. Which is it?
And the big one ...... "If I'm being honest ..." or "If I'm honest ..." Accredited to Honest Neil, the Leeds rat catcher.
