FA to Investigate

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[12:25:39] Breaking News: Joey Barton is to be investigated for causing the earthquake in New Zealand the other day.

Neutral scientists (funded by The FA) have claimed that Joey Barton's tackle on Abou Diaby caused some blades of grass to vibrate, this led to a large packet of energy being unleashed in New Zealand on the other side of the planet. Although there is no evidence that Barton caused the earthquake, it is thought that this is the only explanation so far.

The FA have said that they will investigate the matter and will take their time in coming to a fair decision of how to punish Joey Barton.

[12:25:39.0001] Update: Barton will be executed.
 
Son of a pitch said:
[12:25:39] Breaking News: Joey Barton is to be investigated for causing the earthquake in New Zealand the other day.

Neutral scientists (funded by The FA) have claimed that Joey Barton's tackle on Abou Diaby caused some blades of grass to vibrate, this led to a large packet of energy being unleashed in New Zealand on the other side of the planet. Although there is no evidence that Barton caused the earthquake, it is thought that this is the only explanation so far.

The FA have said that they will investigate the matter and will take their time in coming to a fair decision of how to punish Joey Barton.

[12:25:39.0001] Update: Barton will be executed.
Click to expand...

:)

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son of a pitch said:
[12:25:39] breaking news: joey barton is to be investigated for causing the earthquake in new zealand the other day.

Neutral scientists (funded by the fa) have claimed that joey barton's tackle on abou diaby caused some blades of grass to vibrate, this led to a large packet of energy being unleashed in new zealand on the other side of the planet. Although there is no evidence that barton caused the earthquake, it is thought that this is the only explanation so far.

The fa have said that they will investigate the matter and will take their time in coming to a fair decision of how to punish joey barton.

[12:25:39.0001] update: barton will be executed.
Click to expand...

[12:25:39:0.00002] Update: Barton says jajajajajajaja
 
[12:25:39.0003] Update: David Bernstein has gone on record as saying "Joey will not be treated any differently to other players, he has the right to dispute our decision and a fair trial".

[12:25:39.0004] Update Joey Barton has responded to David Bernestein's statement, saying "I'm happy tha..."

[12:25:39.0004] Update Joey Barton has had his appeal denied. David Bernstein interrupted Joey's response and immediately asked "Are you undermining my authority Joey?". Joey responded "No, I'm happy with your...". David Bernstein immediately ordered Joey to be beheaded at GMT 12:25:39.0005.

[12:25:39.0006] Update Joey was beheaded at 12:12:39.0005 as ordered by The FA.

[12:25:39.0006] Update David Bernstein has received a pay rise.
 
Thriller.... you ****ing gave me a heart attack there you tosser XD
5*
 
[12:25:39.0008] Update Joey Barton survived the beheading as he was wearing Cheick Tiote's snood at the time

[12:25:39.0009] Update Cheick Tiote has ordered the FA to leave Barton alone

[12:25:39.00091] Update The FA have refused Tiotes demand

[12:25:39.00091000000000000001] Update The FA is in rubble
 
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