Entire Chelsea crowd was reading sporting autobiographies

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport...eading-sporting-autobiographies-2014110392348

The recent Chelsea-QPR game was silent because fans were immersed in this year’s sporting memoirs, it has emerged.

Occasional bursts of applause or booing were caused by particularly thrilling passages in books by Roy Keane, Kevin Pietersen and Dennis Bergkamp.

Jose Mourinho said: “I looked at the crowd and saw a sea of serious, determined faces.

“Not their faces – the faces of Alex Ferguson and Luis Suarez on the covers of their mass-market hardbacks.

“No sound could be heard, even though their lips were all moving because they are not strong readers.

“It is no wonder that we conceded a goal because the team lost focus, and also because Thibaut Courtois was on chapter six of Andrea Pirlo’s I Think Therefore I Play.”

Visiting manager Harry Redknapp spent the entire time reading his own new book in the hope of picking up some management tips.

Fan Julian Cook said: “I can only allot so many hours per week to sport, so the game seemed an ideal opportunity to multi-task.

“Decent game, was it? I can’t wait to read all about it in Eden Hazard’s autobiography Caution! Hazard, out October 2015 from Hachette.”

 

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Yeah I liked that bit too.