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Embarrassing Drunken Moments

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by barnsley_boy, Jun 10, 2011.

  1. barnsley_boy

    barnsley_boy Member

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    I recently whilst bored rigid at work started a similar discussion and was quite amused at some of the things that were mentioned.... ranging from people having ridiculous/gay as **** tattoo's done whilst under the influence,to a bloke ****ing a tranny off in a nightclub and someone willingly eating cow ****.

    Feel free to add your own here!!!



    My own crowning moment came whilst on a family holiday last year.

    My girlfriend and I had decided that on one night when everyone else had decided they were gonna stay at the hotel and have an early night,we were gonna go to the main part of the island for a drink. As this was the only night we were gonna properly go out,we decided to make the most of it and get wrecked.

    A couple of hours in I was well enough on my way to take up the challenge of a drinking game in one of the bars. This led to me getting spanked at it by one of the bloke's that worked there and going on to suck some ****ers toes!!!

    With the sock fluff still working it's way through my digestive system,we moved on and proceeded to be ****ing dragged round by one annoying rep after the other,before eventually calling it a night at,I vaguely recall,about 2am.

    2am became 4:30am,at which point I was ****ing furious to be woke up by my girlfriend.
    But there was good reason.

    She had woken up herself to what she thought initially was the stench of a beer/vodka/sambuka endorsed fart.
    When this however lingered and lingered,she became suspicious and got up to investigate.
    When she rose there I was to her left.... sprawled on the settee bed wearing only the pieces of **** that were stuck to my back and legs and sporting a truly caked up arsehole!!!
    Straight forward was the small table which was too small really to be of any use at all. It had now however been used by myself as a makeshift toilet.
    On it was my girlfriends new bikini,a towel and THE BIGGEST pile of **** I have EVER seen!!!
    In front was a puddle of piss. (Although in my defence,it's common knowledge you can't **** without pissing at the same time!!!)

    To my credit I had been remarkably accurate considering the state I was in and had the **** the perfect pile,which because of my state my girlfriend had to now scoop into a heavy duty carrier bag!
    I was then presented with this (which honestly smelt worse than ANYTHING I have EVER smelt before or since!!!) and was politely told to **** off and dispose of it.
    This I did.... although not without walking round the complex 4 times first,passing 3 different night porters with said bag of **** in hand,then disposing of it in a bin DIRECTLY outside the hotel's main entrance and banging on the wrong door for 5 minutes to get back in the room!!!

    I have understandably gotten plenty of **** for this since (No pun intended! :emoticon-0117-talki),but somewhat remarkably,have also managed to hang on to the same girlfriend!
     
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  2. Tina_old

    Tina_old Princess

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    I don't drink, but a friend of mine fell off a 30ft ledge, trying to walk along it. Not a mark on him. Daft ****.
     
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  3. Girvan Loyal 1690

    Girvan Loyal 1690 Nobody's safe now

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    could that not have been shortend to - I shat myself on holiday?
     
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  4. Erik

    Erik Well-Known Member

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    <ok>

    It's these weird ****s from the West Riding. Tut tut.
     
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  5. Steevee

    Steevee Active Member

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    im not much of a drinker as i turn in to a monster on the brew... puked up once on the dance floor then decided everyone needed a sample of it and was kicking it and young girls in the bar. I did not pull as one would imagine.

    Woke up wearing girls sandles.. dont know the rest of the story. and i was single at the time

    Another time i woke in the morning to find a girl and my best mate and another girl all in one bed. he assures me nothing gay went on.
     
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  6. Tina_old

    Tina_old Princess

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    Thanks for summarising, I didn't read past the 2nd line.

    <ok>
     
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  7. Shearer Cort Given Dyer Speed

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    I've pissed myself while a sleep a few times but it was never in my own house which makes it 10 times worse
     
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  8. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    Too many to mention but usually ends up with me having sex in public places in front of people: at a party, in a garden in the middle of Edinburgh, in a nightclub in Ayr!
     
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  9. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    I'm sure your boyfriends loved it.
     
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  10. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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    I just fall asleep when I'm pissed. Sorry.

    My mate got thrown out of the Slimelight for standing at the top of the staircase inside the club and pissing on the people walking up and down it.
     
    #10

  11. SleepySpecialK

    SleepySpecialK Well-Known Member

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    I was knocked back at a private party in a nightclub in Glasgow. I decided to fool the bouncers so I went away and turned ALL my clothes inside out so they wouldn't recognise me.

    I didn't get in.
     
    #11
  12. Tina_old

    Tina_old Princess

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    Mmmm golden showers. Is he single?
     
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  13. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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    Of course...
     
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  14. Magic Laudrup 11

    Magic Laudrup 11 Well-Known Member
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    I'll have stories to share Sunday <ok>

    Football day out tomorrow and doing a sub crawl. Not drank properly in months because of being ill, so will be pishing myself by 1pm tomorrow <ok>
     
    #14
  15. Erik

    Erik Well-Known Member

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    Eurgh. SARS? Ebola? Lyme Disease?
     
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  16. EDGE

    EDGE Guest

    Too many diseases to mention with poor ML.
     
    #16
  17. Magic Laudrup 11

    Magic Laudrup 11 Well-Known Member
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    I wish I knew what was wrong with me <laugh>

    Latest symptom - static around edge of vision <ok>
     
    #17
  18. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    Aye shafted by a 10" darkie cock no doubt <ok>
     
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  19. Magic Laudrup 11

    Magic Laudrup 11 Well-Known Member
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #19
  20. Tina_old

    Tina_old Princess

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    He'll have a stiffy now you've got his name in one of your symptoms.
     
    #20

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