Off Topic Compare the cheese to no 10 thread

French girls stink and don't shave.

They all had a lucky escape there milk.

 

I think you're confusing them with orang utans.

 

I saw her in a bikini (a group of us all went waterskiing together) she wasn't particularly hairy...

she had gone to high school in the US for 3 years before returning to France so would know that's not acceptable here. (her dad was a high up exec at a large French company with a branch in the US... Which is how she got the internship at the place I worked... Her dad was good friends with the owner of the company). If she had not gone to school here for a while she probably would have been hairy and stinky but she knew better.

She never did hook up with anyone at the office (at least that I know of) but one of my good friends there (he was a friend of mine at University before we started working together) was gaga over her...she seemed to like him too but they were both too scared to make a move on each other so nothing ever happened.

 

Leave the poor apes out of it

 

It was a busy night last night, both briefly at the Cheese and at home. Also, a new activity has been added to the Mexican itinerary. Full update after the meeting I'm going into shortly

 

Rectal cavity drug-smuggling?

 

I'll cover that one first At the beach town she's at now, you can do a boat trip out to swim with a pod of 200 dolphins in their feeding grounds. £20 seems well worth it for that experience.

I met the eldest in Stockton Heath after work. We had a few beers there, and then I got a taxi back to the Cheese. There was a bloke sitting outside who I've disliked since I first met him in Stockton Heath about 20 years ago. He used to be a regular in the Mull when I was. He's got typical 'small man syndrome'. He's loud, nosy, sexist and obnoxious, all with a rasping Burnley accent. He was talking to another bloke who I saw at the Cheese for the first time on Saturday. He was sponging fags and/or drinks off whoever he could, until people started telling him to **** off. He tried to engage me in conversation with no success. I've no objection to giving fags to or buying a drink for anyone I know and like, but certainly not a complete stranger who's doing it on a serial basis.

I went in to the Cheese, which was pretty quiet. Gaynor the barmaid brought my pint over and I said that scrounging twat who was in here on Saturday's out there again. Gaynor wasn't there on Saturday, but she'd heard all about it. Then the short-arse came in and started gushing the scroungers sob-story. I said "Don't tell me you fell for that ****? He's scrounging ****". "No he's not" was the short-arse's reply, who was obviously pissed. I said "He was at it all Saturday afternoon until he got told to **** off by several people, and you tell me he's not, you Burnley prick". A stream of expletives followed and he came over to me raising his fist. I grabbed hold of his wrists and he couldn't move. At that point Gaynor and one of the lads dragged him off. I was leaving anyway, as I had some tea on. He was jabbering away at me on the way out and three of the lads at the bar told him to shut the **** up and act his ****ing age - he's older than me

When I got home, the **** of a next-door neighbour was on one again, music on full whack, banging on the wall and screaming. He's an ex-squaddie who allegedly has PTSD. He owns a ****ing big alsatian (and a gun, apparently), got barred the first time he went into the Cheese, has been twatted by one of the customers (Scouse Red) for using foul language in front of his young daughters, and subsequently has threatened to bomb the place. The police have been round there on several occasions, but the ****s still there. The unit had phoned the plastic coppers earlier who said they'd look into it, but she was told they could do nothing about the music at full volume. They could only do something if he was using threatening behaviour. She called them back at 11.30 and they said someone would be round within the hour. Cue air freshener and blow paraphernalia secretion It stopped at 12.30 at which time I went to bed, rising at 6.00 this morning. The police never came, the useless ****ing ****s. I'll be having a word with the Kirkby boys if it happens once more

Why are there so many complete ****s on the planet?

 

PS A tenner says Greez won't read all of that

 

He will - looking for spelling mistakes.

 

Just be careful. Dolphins have been known to rape people... They aren't minute men and they have enormous members.

The threat is real.

 

Mind your knees don't go rusty.

 

Dolphin sperm is very corrosive.

 

I'll take your word for that.

 

Titanium doesn't rust

 

Orangutans have also been known to rape people... Although only women have been victims of orangutan rape. Dolphins attempt to rape men and women alike.

So you would be safer swimming with a pod of orangutans... But your daughter wouldn't.

 

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There's also this......

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.....but you can see why it might have been confused.

 

So RHC isn't safe from orangutans either.

I recommend putting on lots of lube each day of his holiday just in case.

 

As long as there are no orangutans on their holidays in Mexico he should be ok.

 

There are zoos there. They could escape.