Early Retirement

My young nephew has decided to hang up his football boots age only eleven, I've just had a phone call from him and whilst disappointed I will support him and probably fall out with his father (my brother). He's played with more or less the same kids since age nine, and if I say it is for fun it really is meant to be fun. As it happens they have performed pretty decently and what started out as team policy that all the kids get to play, it is now being taken taken too seriously, parents are demanding that this policy is affecting results. Perhaps this is true, but some children who are more into competition, or have been asked to play for a school team have left. This has resulted in new arrivals, this has totally altered all the dynamics of the team. We've always arranged lifts to games for all the children, recycled strips, parents will know kids like to join things then lose interest, so no great cost or harm done financially if they decide it's not for them, all this has gone out the window.
Saturday morning was particuarly bad, certain parents were demanding their child play and little whoever was not good enough. I wanted to discuss it out of earshot of the kids as there have been a few tears, but the damage is done.
It probably wont make a huge difference to my nephew, he got to play every game as he was Goalkeeper, seems nobody wants to do it at that age. He's upset because his friend was singled out as the weak link and it has spilled into school as well.
Is this what most teams are like at school age, I think once you get to senior school age it is the better players that stick with it, you play for school, town county etc. I'm pretty gutted about the outcome, but it could be the same if he goes elsewhere.

 

This is the problem with the youth game. Parents shouting on the pitch side I thought refs could tell them to leave but i guess they are afraid of reprecussions afterwards or complaints being lodged due to the nanny state we live in

 

I can relate to this article on some levels as i have experienced them myself, not to the extent that the parents were demanding there kid play to the expense of another, but these kind of things do happen, not just where you are but all over the world in all sports.

What starts out as something fun and enjoyable for the children, quickly turns into something more demanding (usually from the parents/manager) and pressuring them both physically and mentally to such a point that they quit and never go back.

 

our youth system in england is ruined by foriegn players

 

Where in the post does it mention foreign players. Its entirely the fault of parents shouting the kids falling out of love with the game and losing some great talent.

 

I was quite shocked at the level of venom towards the let us not forget the VOLUNTEER parents that have run this little team for a few years, even though their own children have moved on to other things. I know some people have a really strong competetive spirit, I don't fault that.
Other things are also being learned here, apart from team spirit and loyalty, my nephew was like Billy Casper (KES) when he first started playing, swinging round the goalpost losing concentration etc. Wether because of his age or what I can't honestly say, his conncentration level is much improved, (he had the concentration span of a gnat) but his confidence soared as well. He's a really quiet lad, but I have to say was quite mouthy and bossy on the field. When your that age you just want to be like your mates, and any mouthy parents out there, you're meant to wait until your kids are teenagers before you embarrass them.

 

It's a great shame, at that age parents should be encouraging their kids for sure but not getting at other kids as a result.

I'm guessing he wants to play footie with his mates, you could try helping him find another setup where they can all play together or failing that, just suggest they organise their own thing. Find a field, meet with parents and arrange a weekly meeting so all the kids can play together.

It's an annoying fact that football is seen purely as a results game, it really discourages team-play amongst kids and can destroy a child's confidence. They just want to play and at that age, who cares if you're not 'good enough', it's all about enjoying the game and making friends.

 

This sort of politics goes on at pretty much every team at around that age. ages 7-10 are usually ok, but at 11 when kids start senior school and move to 11 aside football, the competitive element takes over. I think teaching kids to be competitive and learn to deal with the odd disappointment is a good thing. But it has to be inclusive of everyone and singling out individuals as weaker is totally the wrong avenue to go down.

 

I played for the school team at junior level to senior level and never witnessed any parents cajoling their kids.

My uncle used to come and watch and the only time he mentioned anything about a game was a time we were playing on a mud heap and I got a chance that if I'd tried to play it along the ground it would have stuck in the mud so lifted it and it went over the bar and he brought that up more than once. I scored at the other end from outside the box where the ground was firmer but he never mentioned that.

Not that I minded too much because he did show an interest, often took me to SJP too.

 

This is what concerns me, go to another team the same thing may happen, this kid is the sort of kid that if you go to a park or your on holiday will find the nearest kid with a ball and say "Can a have a kick of yer ball" Lo and behold, lifelong friendships formed. He's not actually one for watching football just yet, his dad works away his season ticket is often available but he loves to play. He doesn't really care to be a goalie, but nobody else will do it. His mates are really important to him, some kids were taking their parents lead and joining in, as I said it's making its way into school.

 

Good that he's got you behind him!

 

This is why our national team is useless. At that age it should just be about playing football, it shouldn't be competitive. A youth coach's concern should be about developing young players and making them enjoy their football, not winning matches.

Parents shouting on the pitch are a disgrace. Kids don't want to play in that environment. Some of the bastards even stand there shouting "break his legs" and things like that. We'll never produce skilful players while it's considered acceptable in this country to kick them out of the game. Anyone with any natural flair will either be injured or give up because they're sick of being kicked.

There's still an element of hooliganism which exists within our game where everybody feels the need to scream and shout at each other rather than encourage. You can see it in our professionals at the highest level, players like Gerrard, Rooney and Terry always seem to be bellowing at each other, and for some reason we call it good leadership. You don't see the Dutch or the Germans behaving like this and I think that's why they generally do well in big competitions; if you're about to take a penalty you don't want to be pumped with adrenaline after having your skipper screaming "****ing come on lads, we can do this" at you. You want to be calm and confident and composed like the Germans always are.

People say in order to improve the national game investments have to be made at grass roots to improve youngsters coming through. This is bull, it's the attitude that has to change. Brazil is by far the most prolific producer of quality footballers in the world. The have terrible facilities, most of them grow up practising skills in the street, they don't play matches they just play wherever they can because they enjoy the game, and as a result they produce a huge amount of quality players; they could have taken three different squads to the world cup and I'm confident all of them could've made it to the knockout stages.

 

I coach my little brother's team with my dad and some of the abuse that the kids get is shocking. I'd be offended if I got it!

 

Do the refs do anything about it

 

When I was about 13/14 there was one teams opposition manager who was a class A ****. Would scream at his players, back then the ref didnt do anything (but to be fair, at their pitch the ref was usually one of the dads of the opposition who was also a class A ****).

When I go to my brothers games, I dont see any managers as extreme as that guy was, but a couple of weeks back you could see the fear in this one kids face, his dad was shouting things like 'whats that?!' everytime he made a mistake.

It was disgusting, ruining the game really.

 

My eldest lad plays under 14's football. He has been playing for a team since he was about 6 years old and I can honestly say that I hate Sunday football.
It's not because of the kids or even the weather, it's the bloody parents.

So many parents forget that they are just children wanting to kick a football about.

I really hate to hear a parent or manager shout at a child when they have made a mistake. They didn't do it on purpose and they are supposed to be having fun, they don't need some idiot making them feel bad.

The strange thing is that my son was at Reading FC for a couple of years and he felt less pressure playing for them than he did when he played for local teams. Even though he knew he had to perform well, he did not have to put up with the coaches and parents shouting at him from the sidelines. (parents aren't allowed to shout and the coaches talk to the boys during the breaks in between the 20 minute quarters that they played).

When he plays for his Sunday team I stand away from the other parents as it can be so embarrassing listening to what they shout. The only reason that I go is that my lad wants me there to watch him.

 

I'm one of two doting Aunts, we take turns helping out with him as his Dad has to work away from home occasionally. Unfortunately his Mam passed away when he was four. His Dad wont want him to be bullied out of it, but if he stops playing he can always change his mind at a later date.
I would like to point out at no time was anything said within hearing of the ref.

 

Sorry to hear about his mam passing away but he's lucky to have two doting aunts keeping an eye out for him. Good luck to you all.

 

Some rep for being so caring!

 

I've just started a FA course in coaching and have another few weeks to go before Stage 1 is complete. I did it as I wanted my daughter to be able to play football with other kids and the club didn't have enough coaches to take on any extras. Part of the training course involves hands on experience so I've managed that with the club.

Have to say that many parents are mouthy scum who shout and swear at the kids on the side of the pitch and twice to date I've told some of them to stop or they'd be barred.

It just resulted in a lot of verbal abuse at me. I pulled their kid off the pitch and told the child that because their parents couldn't control themselves that they couldn't play.

I then re-informed the parents that this would continue as long as they behaved in that manner.

Last weekend I had no verbals from the parents. The kids really enjoyed themselves and had a fun time which is very important at the age levels I'm teaching.