Diy

Just sorted out my clogged up windscreen squirters with a can of WD40.

If it should move but doesn't - WD40
If it shouldn't move but does - Gaffer Tape

All you need to know.

 

Would this work on my missus?

 

I had hoped this would have been a thread about ****ing.

We haven't had a ****ing thread for ages

 

If it doesn't work, hit it with a hammer till it does.

 

If it doesn't fit, hit it with a hammer till it does.

 

If it isn't the right shape, hit it with a hammer till it is.

 

If it's too short, flatten it with a hammer till it's long enough.

 

When ye lose yer temper with the DIY instructions, hit everytrhing with a hammer.

 

When ye can't do a DIY job with a hammer, use two hammers.

 

You should've done home improvements gambol

 

If she asks you once too often to do that "wee DIY job", hit her with a hammer and tell her to Do It Yerself.

 

Am a ****in whizz kid with ma trusty hammer.

 

It's always painful when you swing your hammer, miss the target and hit your fingers


......oh hang on....

 

The Irish screwdriver.

 

Less fingers, less to hit

A missing left index finger is also extremely useful when playing pool. I get a great angle for getting maximum bottom on the cue ball. Also when the cue ball is tight against the cush. All professional players should get that finger removed. Improve their game no end, so it wid.

 

I stick a needle down my skooshies.

It's kinda like sticking a crochet hook up a japs eye.

 

Say whit?

 

Whit

 

Thanks.

 

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