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DIY Operations

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Ponders Revisited, Nov 18, 2014.

  1. Ponders Revisited

    Ponders Revisited Well-Known Member

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    I'm quite a dab hand at lancing boils, abscesses and other poisonous sores.

    I've corrected in-growing toenails by way of a modelling knife, TCP and swabbing.

    My toolbox has supplied the answers to troublesome teeth.

    And I've even stitched up a slice on my palm.

    Have you ever saved NHS resources by conducting your own in-house theatre?
     
    #1
  2. The Anilingus Aficionado

    The Anilingus Aficionado Official POTY 2011, 2014, 2015, 2018 & 2023

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    Playing football one week, I did a slide tackle on the 3G surface and cut all my knee.

    A few days later, I repeated the same feat and all the wee black bits went into the already open wound.

    I bathed and thought I'd caught all the debris, but a few days later, my knee began to ached badly and a green discharge began to weep out of the wound. I had to pull out a few more of the black bits from the poisonous wound with tweezers and had to lance open parts which had began healing with the wee black bits trapped under my skin.

    All in all, good times.
     
    #2
  3. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    ****.
     
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  4. Rubber Johnny

    Rubber Johnny Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #4
  5. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    I once got shot. To clean the wound out I broke open another bullet, poured the cordite into the open wound and lit it, thereby cauterising the wound.
     
    #5
  6. Mick O'Toon

    Mick O'Toon Well-Known Member

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    ^^^

    Rambo
     
    #6
  7. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    Mair like Zammo.


    <justsayno>
     
    #7
  8. Ponders Revisited

    Ponders Revisited Well-Known Member

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    If your cock falls off, there is no point in using UHU glue to stick it back on. You'll need a decent joinery glue to achieve an adequate bond.
     
    #8
  9. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    If you cut off your cock a new one grows back which is longer and thicker in girth than the original. It's true - you should try it.
     
    #9
  10. gas

    gas ACCOUNT DELETED
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    Tina tried it but it's nae grown back at all. :(
     
    #10

  11. The Raging Oxter

    The Raging Oxter Well-Known Member

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    What's happened to the old boot? Huvnae seen her own here for ages.
     
    #11
  12. User Deleted

    User Deleted Well-Known Member

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    She knows she'll feel my wrath for grassing us into Paolo so she's laying low.
     
    #12
  13. The Anilingus Aficionado

    The Anilingus Aficionado Official POTY 2011, 2014, 2015, 2018 & 2023

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    She's PM'd me asking that once she comes back onto Not606, that I keep you lads in check and that you go easy on her.

    Not replied yet to be honest.
     
    #13
  14. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Rambo III

    Well spotted Mick <ok>
     
    #14
  15. SUPERNORWICH 23

    SUPERNORWICH 23 SUPERNORWICH

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    I snipped my banjo with keyring scissors for a laugh when i was 17.
    The girls always compliment it .
    I call it the half kiker.
     
    #15
  16. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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    Ponders, I've got a wisdom tooth that needs pulling but I never get round/am too scared to go to the dentist. Have you pulled one of them out?
     
    #16
  17. SUPERNORWICH 23

    SUPERNORWICH 23 SUPERNORWICH

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    I went 2 weeks ago back top left, the thing cracked and kept getting food stuck in it.
    My dentist in Paddington gave me a big shot of nove then gripped it with some dental grip things and twisted it out.
    After 2 days it started closing up .
    Pretty easy really stoppers worth getting done before you get rot tooth breath.
     
    #17
  18. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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    I had two wisdom teeth pulled several years ago. Got such a bad infection that I got a swelling in my mouth meaning that I couldn't eat for a week, it was painful to drink. Antibiotics had no effect. Never felt so ill before or since.

    That kinda puts me off going back for more.
     
    #18
  19. Ponders Revisited

    Ponders Revisited Well-Known Member

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    I've not done one of them yet, but I'll happily give it a go.

    If my wisdoms give me grief, I tend to chew on some cranberries; they are great for relieving pain and clearing infections.
     
    #19
  20. SUPERNORWICH 23

    SUPERNORWICH 23 SUPERNORWICH

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    Refresher bars are also good the chew sticks to the tooth and the sherbert works it's magic into the cavities rinse with Dr Pepper that tooth will be fine in no time.
     
    #20

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