A Mag mate of mine put this on Facebook. I used to live in Pennywell and I found it very funny. If someone can be bothered you can change the references to Newcastle places/newspapers and stick it on their board. EARTHQUAKE!!! As you are probably aware a massive earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale struck Sunderland in the early hours. At the epicenter in Pennywell, victims were seen roaming around aimlessly muttering âwheeys keeys are theeseâ. The earthquake decimated the entire area causing about 30 quid worth of damage. Several p...riceless collections of ashtrays from the Balearics and Tenerife were damaged beyond repair. Three historic areas of burnt out cars, some over seven years old were disturbed. Many locals were awoken before their Giro's arrived. The Sunderland Echo reported that hundreds of locals were confused, bewildered and still trying to come to terms with the loss of Ladbrokes. One resident a Miss Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of six said "It was a shock to my little Chardonnay Mercedes. She came into my room crying and put me and Winston off our stroke but my youngest two Tyler Morgan and Brooklyn Romeo Rainbow luckily slept through it all. I was still shaking whilst watching Trisha the next day". Apparently looting, mugging and car crime did carry on as normal. The Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4000 crates of lager into the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have recovered large amounts of belongings including Benefit Books, jewellery by Elizabeth Duke at Argos and finest bone china from Mad Harry's. *HOW CAN YOU HELP?* This appeal is to raise money for food and clothes parcels for those caught up in the disaster. Clothing is urgently needed and amongst the most sought after items are; ⢠Fila or Burberry Baseball Caps ⢠Kappa Tracksuit Tops (his and hers) ⢠Adidas Trackie Bottoms 3/4 length, ⢠White Socks ⢠Rockport Boots ⢠and anything else from the Donnay shop Food parcels must take into consideration local tastes and should include Micro Meals, Pot Noodles, Baked Beanz, Super Noodles, Sausage Rolls and Greggs pasties for the babies. Special brew or Thunderbird would also be gratefully received. Every little helps. Remember: ⢠22p buys a biro to help fill in a compensation form ⢠£2.00 buys chips with curry and blue Panda pop for a family of nine ⢠£5.00 buys 20 B&H and a box of Swan Vestas to calm the nerves of a grieving ten year old Please don't send tents for shelter as the sight of posh accommodation is unfair on the residents of Hendon and Southwick. THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP.
I think the same joke has been done both ways on many occasions..I think I first saw something similar about 5 years ago when it was Hendon and Byker doing the rounds..
Fixed. EARTHQUAKE!!! As you are probably aware a massive earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale struck Wallsend in the early hours. At the epicentre in Scrogg Road, victims were seen roaming around aimlessly muttering “We divvent want dirty knees too”. The earthquake decimated the entire area causing about 30 quid worth of damage. Several p...priceless collections of ashtrays from the Balearics and Tenerife were damaged beyond repair. Three historic areas of burnt out cars, some over seven years old were disturbed. Many locals were awoken before their Giro's arrived. The Newcassel Chronicle reported that hundreds of locals were confused, bewildered and still trying to come to terms with the loss of Ladbrokes. Experts at first didn’t realise that there had been an earthquake, as fans of the local football club known as the craas, had been rioting, burning and looting, as part of their weekly police community orders and had already smashed up large parts of the city anyway. One local resident a Miss Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of six said "It was a shock to my little Chardonnay Mercedes. She came into my room crying and put me and Winston off our stroke but my youngest two Tyler Morgan and Brooklyn Romeo Rainbow luckily slept through it all. I was still shaking whilst watching Trisha the next day". Apparently looting, mugging and multiple car crime did carry on as normal, as well as the age old traditional Newcastle family game of punch the horse. The Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4000 crates of lager into the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have recovered large amounts of belongings including Benefit Books, jewellery by Elizabeth Duke at Argos and finest bone china from the Quayside market area. *HOW CAN YOU HELP?* This appeal is to raise money for food and clothes parcels for those caught up in the disaster. Clothing is urgently needed and amongst the most sought after items are; • Fila or Burberry Baseball Caps • Kappa Tracksuit Tops (his and hers) • Adidas Trackie Bottoms 3/4 length, • White Socks • Rockport Boots • and anything else from the Donnay shop Food parcels must take into consideration local tastes and should include Micro Meals, Pot Noodles, Baked Beans, Super Noodles, Sausage Rolls and especially the Geordie treat of warm Greggs pasties for the babies. Special brew or Thunderbird would also be gratefully received, as will the local Tadcaster brewed Noocarsel Brown Ale. Every little helps. Remember: • 22p buys a biro to help fill in a compensation form • £2.00 buys chips with curry and blue Panda pop for a family of nine • £5.00 buys 20 B&H and a box of Swan Vestas to calm the nerves of a grieving ten year old • £7.99 will buy 4 gallon of Netto false tan, for teenagers all over Benwell Please don't send tents for shelter as the sight of posh accommodation is unfair on the residents of Walkergate and Elswick. Cast Members of Geordie Shore, or thick chav scum as they are better known, have been telling everyone how git hard they are like and how they can like shag all the fit birds everywhere and that they like ****ing all the time like and that like everyone are git ****ers like……like. HELPLINE NUMBERS ARE: – 14-04-13 0-3 0-3 0-3 or 05-12-08 1-9 1-9 1-9 THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP.
