Yesterday Chanin referred to the heat he experienced in Perth a decade ago. I reminded of a piece actually written by an Englishman, so I had to track it down again. The title is as above. *August 31st* *Just got transferred with work into our new home in Perth, Western Australia now this is a City that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the veranda It was beautiful. Iâve finally found my home. I love it here.* *September 13th:* *Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. Iâm turning into a sun worshiper.* *September 30th:* *Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.* *October 10th* *The temperature hasnât been below 35 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today itâs kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.* *October 15th:* *Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the olâ sun in a climate like this.* *October 20th:* *I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat s***. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.* *October 25th:* *The wind sucks. It feels like a giant friggin blow dryer!! And itâs hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.* *October 30th:* *Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $600,000 house and we canât even go inside. Why did I ever come here?* *November 4th:* *Itâs 38 degrees. Finally got the olâ air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the house feel like itâs about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid friggin place.** * *November 8th:* *If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?"Â Iâm going to throttle him. Friggin heat! By the time I get to work the carâs radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin wet, and I smell like baked cat!!* *November 9th:* *Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the olâ car. I thought my friggin arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.* *November 10th:* *The weather report might as well be a recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and friggin sunny. Itâs been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesnât it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the pool. Even the palms canât live in this heat.* *November 14th:* *Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditionerâs gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"Â My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the stupid nut job. Stuff Perth! What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?* *December 1st:* *WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are kidding!!*
Being a fair skinned type who loves the shade in hot weather, I could never understand these "mad dogs and Englishmen who lie in the midday sun." Now those who emigrate to do the same in a much hotter climate really do need a lobotomy. They're obviously people who can't 'live with themselves' or more likely simply 'nutters.' I may be crazy but at least I 'keep my cool' over here in the UK. Good afternoon, Cyc. Hot enough for you over there, is it?
I had 3 weeks in Albury (NSW/Victoria border)recently (if I get round to it I'll post a couple of photos of the races there) - the temperature only scraped below 40C on 2 days. The one thing that amazes me about people in Australia is their watering of lawns/gardens in the middle of the day!
I love Perth cyc. The remotest City on the planet and one of the most beautiful. I stayed in a hotel on the park by the Swan River and ferried over to the city every day. Wonderful place, wonderful people. Breakfast at the Blue Parrot aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.
Good piece Cyc, though I didn't write it...honest! I just very naively thought it cooled off in the evening. As Stick says Perth is a fantastic place. Did that ferry across the Swan River a few times...not the worst 50 odd pence I've ever spent. I was over visiting some cricketing buddies and was expecting to get a lot of **** of the locals about the awful state of our national team. Worse than piss taking it was just pity. Still I did get nearly 3 dollars to the £ and 3 years later we'd improved a bit!
I'll do a piece about how the Australains in England start moaning as soon as the temperatie goes below 18 The waty they bitch about it you'd think that Engalnd had decided to paly cricket with a slip cordon using leg theory....... Australia is a great country though - Melbourne's brilliant
Dan, you must have heard of the best places to live if you are an Australian – London and Dublin. They will all be looking for bar jobs over here when the ex convicts come over to Blighty for another cricket lesson, provided that we get a summer this year and it stops raining long enough.
