Derby day ode

The mackems are coming, bolt all your doors,
hide all your jewellery under the floors,
zip up your pockets and keep everything tight,
from a bus load of thieves from the stadium of ****e.

They will climb in your gardens and rifle your bins,
they will live off pot noodles and left over things,
they will break thro your windows and steal all your goods,
then go back to their camp in Pennywell woods.

Shell suits are fashion down 5und1and way,
with Brighthouse their saviour with five years to pay,
they will wash in the Wear and struggle to cope,
and they don't understand the reason for soap.

Their women are grannies when they reach 29,
their dream of a holiday is a day on the Tyne,
they look in the mirror and think what a mess,
before going to sleep with their brother in his Matalan dress.

Not my work, but a cracker to be shared.

HTL

 

Imitation the sincerest form of flattery.

 

Well done from refraining from abuse.

 

Haha class would be awesome if the whole of SJP starts singing it 2moro!!!

 

.

 

This did amuse me.

Sadly, I know a fair few people from my wonderful hometown that it's all true about....

 

im going to be honest that really good

but i dont like it

 

**** off!

 

Well I could have pulled it to pieces as the majority of it is clearly based on those good folks from NE99.

I haven't seen these Pennywell woods you speak of though?

 

Magpies are vermin. They may lawfully be caught, shot, or otherwise killed at any time by anyone using more or less any humane means, as they are now number-one bird pest throughout Britain.

 

I'm doing my bit up to 7 now.

Just need to buy some replacement gas, for the rifle.