At times I wake up in cold sweats worrying about a certain man in my life. There are definately commitment issues but I cannot work out who's side it is on. Why has my BR not extended his contract? Why has HJ not opened his checkbook and secured the man's services? The last time someone stole my main man it was a total mess. My BR's contract runs out at the end of the season and I fear someone will come knocking on his door soon, with promises of 'better' things. Am I wrong in feeling this way?
Dear Swim, Most of us are besieged by massive doubts when we first meet someone who feels just right. Of course the risk of losing them feels very threatening. But it's more likely to take over and distort our behaviour if we have had an earlier experience of losing out in the past. It may be apparently unconnected – having a younger sibling turn up and to a young mind feel as if they have stolen all our parents' love, or experiencing the loss of a parent from our daily life because of our parents' divorce or separation. Make a determined effort to tell HJ your club need's BR but stop asking for reassurance that BR loves you or checking on what he's up to – it isn't attractive. I'm emailing you my leaflet on Coping With Jealousy which explains more about the causes and tactics to get a grip on the symptoms before you bring about just what you most fear – losing the love of your life. PS my name is spelled Deirdre, get it wrong again and I'll kill you you whinging ****.
Dear Dierdre, thank you for your wonderful advice and thanks for encouraging me to stop whinging (no-one's ever told me that before!) .... I feel so much better now, and have moved onto a new hobby (but my mother used tell me I will go blind if I carry on, but I think she's lying) yours Swim
Dear Swim You better hope your new hobby hasn't blinded you too much, as you're a dead man walking Swim from DEIRDRE...it's ****ing DEIRDRE!
Dear '****ing DIERDRE' After helping me through my previous conundrum you have left me somewhat perplexed. Despite my failing eyesight and weakening arm, I find the need to question your new tact and reasoning. Can a dead man walk or swim, I was brought up to believe they cannot. They either lie very still or bob up and down in the water. Can you send me a leaflet explaining that also please? yours confused Swim
Now all niceties aside Swim. I know where you live. I will find you, you will be mine, oh yes. No more ****ing leaflets and the name is spelled Deirde and it's not actually my real name, it is a moniker.
Wow, now I'm really confused! Now you tell me your name is actually Monica. I should let you know that I cannot be yours as I am a happily married man. I cannot remember who or when, but I was told once that .... "Most of us are besieged by massive doubts when we first meet someone who feels just right. Of course the risk of losing them feels very threatening. But it's more likely to take over and distort our behaviour if we have had an earlier experience of losing out in the past." I think I have a leaflet knocking around somewhere on Coping With Jealousy which explains more about the causes and tactics to get a grip on the symptoms before you bring about just what you most fear – losing the love of your life. I hope that helps yours Swim
Dear **** The Toad, **** off and read my leaflet on "Amphibian Insertion In Anuses And It's Downfalls" you purve. and it's spelled DEIRDE
Dear Jeff Just make sure you havent borrowed the hanky of Swim due to his new found hobby Yours DEIRDRE
Dear Scott I am not sure what to be more worried about, your miscomprehension of the full stop, or your obvious inability to foget that the 70's look was never and will never be cool. I think you will find the attached leaflet on "Gramma or Look My Grandma" will help. PS A pair of little birdies (Proph and Jon Hughes) feel you also have some anger management/ power issues. Feel free to discuss them with me privately on this forum at any time. Yours DEIRDRE
Dear Monica/Dierdre I see you popped up on another thread. I forgot to thank you for your terrific advice. It seems you were right all along and I hope the leaflet helped you with your 'issues' also. Swim
What the fcuk is going on ? Am in in the twilight zone and who the fcuk is Monica? It is the best thread ever though to be fair.
Dear Musty I have though long and hard and come to this conclusion. You need your bleedin head read young man. Who the **** do you think I am , Mystic ****ing Meg? I am an agony aunt not a bleedin' pyschic. Is this thread entitled Dear Dimbleby or Please Paxman? No it's not. If you must ask, I guess the answer is in the name of the place.... the Queen will obviously win any election in Queensland. Is she in it? In fact, don't respond as I don't really give a toss about your Antipodean local politics. 5 years training to be a psychoanalyst and 20 years in the field and thats the best you can come up with. Reading between the lines, I took the opportunity to do some research on your behaviour on this forum and I have sent you a leaflet on The Beginners Help Guide To Synthetic Polymer Turbines.... it's a must for any clueless plastic fan. PS Thanks for spelling my name right.
