Darwin Awards

The Darwins are out!!!!
Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

 

I love the winner, what a clem
I'm going to Long Beach later this year, I'll keep an eye out for the special people.

 

The are all brilliant but number 4 is great, the fact he got away with it for so long

 

I love the Darwins.

It fills me with a sense of joy when I read these stories.

 

Yep, I got to say that is my favourite and will ensure that I keep grinning like an idiot today each time I think about it.

 

4.

"I'm not mad"

Nurse: "of course you aren't, time for your medication"

 

I reacon the fact that the people he picled up at the bus stop, how did they not notice were they were going. maybe they deserve to be there

 

They're a bit contradictory because, frankly, the fourth one is genius!

 

I know what you are saying but the point of the Darwins is that it is the people that actually remove the stupidity gene from the species who usually win, this of course means that their stupity results in their death, I also like the one about the guy that injured his head when a train hit him, when the police asked him about the accident he said he was trying to see how close he could get his head to a train before it would hit him!!!!

 

The greatest ever:

Polish farmer Krystof Azninski, who staked a strong claim to being Europe's most macho man by cutting off his own head in 1995. Azninski, 30, had been drinking with friends when it was suggested they strip naked and play some "men's games". Initially they hit each other over the head with frozen turnips, but then one man upped the ante by seizing a chainsaw and cutting off the end of his foot. Not to be outdone, Azninski grabbed the saw and, shouting "Watch this then," he swung at his own head and chopped it off.

"It's funny," said one companion, "when he was young he put on his sister's underwear. But he died like a man."

 

rep

edit it won't let me

 

A 26-year-old Argentinean man with what can be safely described as a problem temper ended an argument with his wife by tossing her off of the balcony of their eighth-story apartment. Miraculously, she didn't die and instead became entangled in some fortuitously located power lines. The man responded to this stroke of good luck by diving off the balcony, in hopes he could knock her from her fortunate perch and finish her off. He missed completely, removing himself from both the gene pool and any eventual consideration for the Ike Turner Lifetime Achievement Award in wife-beating

 

sorry to piss on your parade, but the bus driver story is a famous fake tale

http://www.snopes.com/medical/asylum/crazybus.asp

 

I read a Darwin Awards Book once.
There is one stand out story for me.A young man was in the middle of robbing a shop,he successfully got the money from the cashier,but he didn't have a balaclava or anything to cover his face before the robbery,fearing any witnesses, he did the sensible thing and tried to shoot the cashier.The gun made the click noise,but to his amazement there was no bang.He looked down the chamber of the gun and it was then the gun went off,shooting himself in the face.Earlier that day he broke into a WWII veteran's house and stole a WWII gun,which had some bullets.However the WWII vet kept WWII bullets for his gun and over the years the reactivity of the gun powder slackened.Which lead to the delayed reaction of the bullet being shot from the chamber.


Karma Much?

 

These are brilliant, devestated about the bus driver one being fake though, havent actually read the link but i'l take your word for it.

 

(10 January 2010, Brazil) An electrical discharge made toast of municipal guard Arthur de Souza Coelho, 47, on Sunday evening. According to police reports, he had installed a tiny electric fence around his car to protect against the frequent robberies that occur in his neighborhood in Belem, Para. Then (direct translation from Portuguese) "he forgot that he had left the fence on and he ended dying with the electric shock."


http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2010-03.html

 

Haha what a dope

 

I'm not sure about this special mention if it is true it's one of the best I've ever heard, and I have a morbid fascination with the Darwin awards.

A man who had decided he had enough of life decided to commit suicide. Determined that it wouldn't be called a cry for help should he succeed he went the whole hog. He walked to the top of a cliff and tied a noose around his neck to a nearby tree, following this he swallowed a vial of poison guaranteed to kill him quickly. Standing over the edge of the cliff he took a revolver and jumped certain that at the very least he would die on the rocks beneath or at least be knocked unconscious and drown.

He jumped and pulled the trigger of the gun pointed at his temple at the same time, the bullet tore through the rope scuppering two of his methods in one fell swoop, miraculously he escaped serious injury on the rocks and found himself washed up on the shore. Unfortunately due to the freezing temperature of the water he vomited up the contents of his stomach saving himself from the excruciating death by poison.

He was rushed to hospital and recieved treatment for severe hypothermia but somehow survived.

The unluckiest man on the planet?

 

The best ever Darwin I've heard was the Chevy with a jet engine: Shame it's a fake!

Jet Assisted Take-Off�
1995 Darwin Awards Winner
Confirmed Bogus by Darwin

The Arizona Highway Patrol were mystified when they came upon a pile of smoldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The metal debris resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it turned out to be the vaporized remains of an automobile. The make of the vehicle was unidentifiable at the scene.

The folks in the lab finally figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led up to its demise.

It seems that a former Air Force sergeant had somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO units are solid fuel rockets used to give heavy military transport airplanes an extra push for take-off from short airfields.

Dried desert lakebeds are the location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant took the JATO unit into the Arizona desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, accelerated to a high speed, and fired off the rocket.

The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows:

The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph and continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners.

The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.

Most of the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.

Ironically a still-legible bumper sticker was found, reading
"How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-****."


Best example of someone having too much time on their hands! lol

 

And there is always a mackem

EVOLUTION Presents: The Human BOTTLE Rocket
AT-RISK Survivor. We think. Could be a Darwin Award.

category: private parts, fireworks

Incident circa November 8, 2006. News only now reaching the ears of Charles Darwin. From HIS ears to your eyes. Sunderland, England paramedics found a prone man suffering injuries including a scorched colon, caused by a Black Cat Thunderbolt rocket. The 22-year-old had, unbelievably, inserted this rocket in his back side, laid down on his front side, and lit the fuse in an attempt to make the rocket fly up into the air. But it was pointing the other way! The regional Firework Association chairman spoke for us all when he said, "This sort of thing is beyond belief."