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Match Day Thread Crystal Palace vs Southampton, Saturday 16th September, 12:30

Discussion in 'Southampton' started by Le Tissier's Laces, Sep 12, 2017.

  1. Le Tissier's Laces

    Le Tissier's Laces Well-Known Member

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    southampton61-2694405_478x359.jpg

    I bid you greetings, fellow fans of the superish Saints and welcome to an LTL special match thread, where like most threads, we'll spend our time picking away at it until eventually, at around 17:00 on Saturday, it'll all unravel.

    Saints Last Three

    Southampton 3 - 2 West Ham
    Huddersfield 0-0
    Southampton
    Southampton
    cannot remember what happened against Watford

    Palace Last Three

    No goals, no wins, no fun.

    Notes on the opposition -

    Crystal Palace is neither crystal, nor a palace. It's a bit of a hellhole in the South East corner of London, creeping towards Surrey, though nobody
    in Surrey wants to claim that area. So South East London it is.

    Visitors might want to enjoy the delights of the surrounding South Norwood, East Croydon and Sydenham, where they can sample some high quality crack cocaine, crystal meth and average trip-hop beats.

    Formed in 1905, Crystal Palace actually used to kick about at the Crystal Palace Exhibition building until the first world war. Then it burned down. Which may have been a shame, but investigators believed it was likely due to the building wanting to fit in with the look of the local geography. A Chinese developer quite recently wanted to redevelop this, but pulled out after talks with Bromley council, and then may or may not have bought a stake in Southampton instead. I once went out with a girl who was unfaithful with a bloke who lived in Bromley. Who was called Bromley. Therefore I have a pathological hatred of all things called Bromley. Other than the apples. Which are actually Bramley. So sod Bromley and all who sail in her (ESPECIALLY YOU, YOU DARK BANSHEE).

    The Eagles, as they are known, have recently sacked their Dutch manager and appointed an owl, in a remarkably similar turn of events to Southampton. The only difference being that the Saints Dutch manager left of his own accord, and we sacked an owl.

    Key Players

    Crystal Palace's key dangermen all have odd names. Ben Teke, having been refused a part in the Star Wars franchise where he was usurped by Ben Kenobi, leads the line.

    Ben Teke is ably supplied by the tricky winger, who has the honour of having the only name in history that works as an onomatopoeia for a man slipping over whilst laughing - Zaha.

    The only ex Saint I can think of, though granted I'm not really thinking terribly hard, is famous diarrhoea sufferer, Jason Puncheon, who it is rumoured is able to defecate where he wants.

    Last Season





    Officials -

    I'm afraid I don't know, but I'm sure Tom will provide the necessary.

    MP2s Likely Line Up

    Forster
    Cedric Stephens Hoedt Berty
    Lemina Romeu
    Tadic Davis Boufal




























    Gabbiadini

    Key Questions and Prediction

    Will want away Homeric chimney sweep, and commonly mis-spelled Virgil Van Dijk feature?
    Can we actually score a goal?
    Will the Owl cast his spell upon Palace and actually make them even more boring than us...
    Will they score?
    Will anybody last the whole game without sleeping?

    I'm going for a thrilling 2-4 victory for Saints.



    COYR
     
    #1
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2017
  2. Qwerty

    Qwerty Well-Known Member

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    You've only picked 10 play-oh I see.
     
    #2
  3. Le Tissier's Laces

    Le Tissier's Laces Well-Known Member

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    It's the exact formation as played, including tactics.
     
    #3
  4. Whiteley Saint

    Whiteley Saint Well-Known Member

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    Did a game ever have 0-0 written on it more than this one?

    1-0 Saints, Hoedt showing the others how it's done. :)
     
    #4
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  5. Libby

    Libby 9-0

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    Cracking thread LTL, top effort <ok>

    Really feel like this will be a scrappy 1-0 home win now they've sacked De Boer.

    Saying that it's my first away game of the season and I'm absolutely buzzing for it. Can't wait to be part of an away crowd after the shocker of the Northam on Saturday.

    Dear MoPe,

    If we're chasing a goal please being someone on to play with Gabbi, rather than instead of him.

    Regards,

    Saints fans x
     
    #5
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  6. Libby

    Libby 9-0

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    P.s. It's the early ko on TV not a 3pm <ok>
     
    #6
  7. Le Tissier's Laces

    Le Tissier's Laces Well-Known Member

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    Good point.

    MODS!!!
     
    #7
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  8. RedandWhiteManofKent

    RedandWhiteManofKent Well-Known Member

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    Don't tell palace that. With no palace players on the pitch at 12.30 we might get a goal
     
    #8
  9. saintsfcfan

    saintsfcfan Well-Known Member

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    New manager or not we really should be beating palace. I'd be even disappointed with a draw, although a score draw would mean that we at least pressured them into scoring an own goal.

    In all seriousness looking forward to it but with trepidation. Come on Saints!

    Brilliant match thread by the way!
     
    #9
  10. Le Tissier's Laces

    Le Tissier's Laces Well-Known Member

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    You'll note that Forster is over to the left on my formation. Apologies to those purists amongst you, but he's still getting up from the dive he made to try and stop Watford's second on Saturday.
     
    #10

  11. Libby

    Libby 9-0

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    <laugh>
     
    #11
  12. Libby

    Libby 9-0

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    I know people like to be optimistic but that's just plain silly.
     
    #12
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  13. Whiteley Saint

    Whiteley Saint Well-Known Member

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    You should be able to go to your first post, click on the drop down for thread tools and amend the title. Hopefully. :emoticon-0126-nerd:
     
    #13
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  14. Le Tissier's Laces

    Le Tissier's Laces Well-Known Member

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    Madam, you are a genius!
     
    #14
  15. Schad

    Schad Well-Known Member

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    Top-quality match thread. If this cannot bring victory, nothing can.

    Coincidentally, the same reason I have a strong dislike of Chelsea...
     
    #15
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  16. fran-MLs little camera

    fran-MLs little camera Well-Known Member

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    Referee: Robert Madley
    Assistants: Lee Betts, Marc Perry
    Fourth official: Graham Scott
     
    #16
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  17. Libby

    Libby 9-0

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    I dislike Sholing FC for similar reasons... <whistle>
     
    #17
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  18. fran-MLs little camera

    fran-MLs little camera Well-Known Member

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    Me too....could never visit Twatt in the Orkneys.
     
    #18
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  19. ChilcoSaint

    ChilcoSaint What a disgrace
    Forum Moderator

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    Best thread ever Laces, and once the Saints players read it they will be sure to win the game on Saturday so we can all enjoy many more of the same. Perhaps that's what he problem has been so far this season, who knows?

    My prediction: 0-8 to Saints, with hat tricks from Cedric and Davis, and late goals from McQueen and Forster (pen).
     
    #19
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  20. Archers Road

    Archers Road Urban Spaceman

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    Top thread. With any luck you can go on a roll - if nothing else, I want to see how you cover our trip to Brighton next month.

    Incidentally, wasn't Billy Idol also from Bromley?

    All of Saaf London is in fact ****, so you got that right. I have a soft spot for Palace fans though, dunno why. Hope we stuff em, obviously.
     
    #20
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