It has been confirmed that following the surprise sacking of Benedict, Mr Cortese has decided not to reappoint a Cardinals first team coach, but to perform the duties himself. Mr Cortese expressed little remorse at living the Saints for the Cardinals saying that the Cardinals are 'more alive' and have 'greater future potential' than the Saints. He also criticised Saints fans for following the wrong religion. It is reported that Benedict only had one hour to clear his desk and remove his kit from the Cardinals changing rooms. In that time he allegedly wrote a note on the toilet door quoting Cardinal Idle, 'Life's a piece of S**t when you look at it' and a life size snap of Mr Cortese was allegedly pinned to the communal dart board. It looks as though Saint Matthew may be stripped of his Sainthood after being quoted as saying 'Only a thoroughly unpleasant egotistical person could assume such a position, it wouldn't surprise if he thought he was god, and there's many who though I was, though I never claimed to be'... Cont. page 94
Think Cortese wants more fans...he wouldn't thank you if a few elderly regulars died of heart failure.
