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Coppers...ot

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by billofengland, Oct 7, 2012.

  1. billofengland

    billofengland Well-Known Member

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    [h=3]Southern Police...........[/h]These are actual comments made by Southern Troopers that were taken off
    their car videos:

    1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went
    through."

    2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
    after you wear them awhile."

    3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a
    worthless document."

    4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

    5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed
    of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

    6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write
    anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

    7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
    will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

    8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again
    or I'll give you another ticket."

    9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether yo u are drunk or
    not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

    10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
    ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

    11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
    oven."

    12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." (National Crime
    Information Center)

    13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

    14. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed
    to write as many tickets as we can."

    15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief of Police is a personal friend of
    yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

    AND THE WINNER IS....

    16. "You didn't think we gave pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
    Sign here." (OUCH!)
     
    #1
    billofengland, Oct 7, 2012
  2. Carsey75

    Carsey75 Member

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    That last one is a classic, made me chuckle!
     
    #2
    Carsey75, Oct 8, 2012
  3. MrRAWhite

    MrRAWhite Well-Known Member

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    Some crackers there marra..<ok>
     
    #3
    MrRAWhite, Oct 8, 2012
  4. Bumblebore

    Bumblebore Well-Known Member

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    Funniest cop story I read happened a couple of years ago in the UK.
    Basically some copper out clocking poor motorists with his speed gun decided to point it at a passing tornado jet. Unbeknownst to the cop the aircraft countermeasures detected the laser, identified the point of origin and prepared to take out the threat!
    Can't recall if the pilot stopped a missile launch or what but thought that cop probably deserved a missile up his jacksie
     
    #4
    Bumblebore, Oct 8, 2012

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