the conspiracy theories have gone into overdrive tonight. You have to say it's never dull supporting the lads. So let me try and summarise today: Eric Black has taken over as chairman, Ellis short is buying Titus's house in Wynyard + the golf course. Quinny is the new MP for South Shields and Milliband is playing left back at the Emirates. Something like that anyway.............
SAF has resigned as Manager of Manchester United. A statement from the Glazer family has revealed that SAF is to bring the whole United squad with him in a straight swap deal involving Steve Bruce and the whole Sunderland squad. New Sunderland Chairman Big Chris said " Aye, this iza canny deal lyk" "Aa reckon Wayne Rooney will be really chuffed wi his new parking space" Steve Bruce was unavailable to comment as his mouth was full of pie as he was clearing Greggs of all they had left on the shelves.
Cheryl Cole has finally admitted that she is a SAFC fan, and will be named as phsio, and can't wait to work on Bardo's ball skills.
Interviews are currently underway, but she is understood to be confused by the number of web-cams in the room, but the interviewers, (who are believed to be several members of the SAFC squad) have re-assured her this is a normal practise,