Comolli resigns after winning Nigerian lottery

Comolli resigns after winning Nigerian lottery
DAMIEN Comolli has resigned from his post of chief moneyburner at Liverpool FC after winning $40 million via email.

To prove his former occupation he has provided the Nigerian prince running the lottery with Liverpool’s bank details and has posted the deeds to his house as proof of address.

Football’s biggest spendthrift will set up a company with the proceeds, investing in new business opportunities such as harvesting icebergs for bottled water and research into magic beans.

Comolli said: “The board very generously offered to exchange my tiny payoff cheque for this big bag of shiny copper coins so I’m all set to go.


“I want to thank everyone at Liverpool for the opportunity to make so many people happy, especially managers of other clubs I used to visit with a cheque book in one hand and a drawing of a footballer in the other.”

During his time at Liverpool Comolli oversaw some of the biggest transfers in the club’s history, including the £35M paid to Newcastle for Andy Carroll despite the club’s insistence that they only wanted £1M for him.

He was known as an innovator at the club, with his ‘Bring & Buy’ scheme - where other clubs would bring the players they didn’t want to the car park at Anfield and Comolli would buy them - being responsible for Jordan Henderson.

Comolli said: “Leaving all this behind does bring a tear to my eye, although that could be the £300 aftershave I bought on the way to work off a chap selling stuff out of a suitcase.”

 

16 people like this.

2 people dis-like this...


But no ****ers will comment........................

 

I have already decided I dislike the dislike thingy, a lot

 

Cheers Comm. I take it as Toff's 16 - Dippers 2

Your right Syd. To use MY words It's a crock of S HIT.

Ps: we need a delete function in the Post like / Dislike

 

Bloody hell, I must have been visiting a different planet! When did that "like" thingy pop up?
It must surely save loads of people posting, or posting smilies. Getting more like F*** book every day

 

If you like this, please copy and paste to your status, followed by telling the world that you are tired and had a chocolate milkshake.

 

hey i like this new thing you have put on

 

whats the different being thankful for a post and liking it?

bloody **** this thing.

 

I'm tired and have just had a chocolate milkshake..

 

Maybe a game of Bubble burst will help..

You also have 7 other app requests outstanding..

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4 people have poked you...poke back.

 

They can slag me off as much as they want mate; I wouldn't even waste my time and effort in checking them never mind retaliating..

 

So what's the difference between thanking and liking?

 

They are spelt differently and have totally different meanings....
I hope I have been of service..

 

Very much so

 

Well thankya kindly sir..