Off Topic Christmas, the New Year, plans, hopes and aspirations.

Ho Ho Ho everyone.

'Tis the season to be jolly and there is way too much doom, gloom, nit picking and arguing for this old (middle aged) **** to take any more.

I want some festive happiness spread, sharpish.

So, what are your Christmas plans? What you going to eat? And Drink?

And NY resolutions and targets?

Unburden yourselves here.

 

No.

 

I'm fully expecting a family feud. Me to burn the turkey, due to my Mrs insisting we go for a 'couple' of beers Christmas Day. Christmas Day endure my mrs's daughter kicking off about something or crying because her sailor boyfriend has given her herpes for Christmas.. The dogs flatulence to make everyone vomit whilst eating the burnt turkey. My mum to lecture me on things to do to my house and have a go at me due to not buying my nephew anything for Christmas.

As to New Years resolutions I want to try and not get pissed quite so often and get down to an 18 handicap by June.

 

We have 3 Christmas trees this year.

A few years ago we bought a fake one, 8 feet tall. It looks very real and was very expensive. My wife convinced me to buy it as she said it would pay for itself over the years (it has in theory) and we wouldn't have pine needles all over the car and in the house. She then decided we needed a small one for the playroom so we bought another fake one, 4 feet tall.

Last year she bought two mini real ones and put them in pots outside the house. The theory was we would watch them grow into full size trees over the years. They were dead by February.

This year she bought a real tree to put in the hallway, also 4 feet tall.

So we have 3 trees.

We're at my folks' place for Christmas. The in-laws come to stay with us for a couple of days after Christmas.

I will eat and drink anything and everything put in front of me. I won't be helping beyond opening bottles and carrying plates of food.

I would like to get fit next year. I used to bang out 10k in 45minutes 4 times a week, I'll never be able to do that again but it would be nice to get to a reasonable level of fitness. That may involve drinking less which doesn't sound like much fun.

 

Post of the day.

 

Roughly translated; spending it in the cheese.

 

Eight for me.

Plus a 10k in September.

Will expand.on all this later, am in the gym!

#smashingthefuckoutofit

 

Denice is doing a brussel sprout omelette lunch and a lapdance for all the regulars. ****house Dave has managed to twoc a couple of cases of Tennents Extra so that's breakfast sorted as well. Around 3pm they all gather at the telly to shout abuse at the Queen.

 

No plans at all. Can't until we know what's happening with the little madam. Off to hospital tonight at 10.

 

Good luck with that.

Must have bags of aspirations though!

 

She's due tomorrow but missus' uncle died on Saturday (usually wouldbt matter but her mum and uncle both have Huntington's and its hit her hard, realisation with her mum I guess) so there going to see of its safe to induce. If not a scrape to try and encourage her out.

So short term plans are see my daughter born, attend a funeral, have Christmas.

Bloody cat was killed Friday night as well.

Next year I'm off to work with my brother. Been learning to code the past 12 months in my own time to prepare for it. Handed notice for current job in for end of January though I am off at the preparing for this week.

 

Christmas is at ours, usually goes well so hope for a repeat.

Christmas eve is best, down to beach in the morning and then up to the local for food early afternoon. Drink the evening away and try to get the kids to bed later.

I get to do breakfast and then am banned from the kitchen so will hopefully slope off to the pub for an hour or so early afternoon on Christmas day. Got twelve round I think.

Boxing day is looking good, United are on early kick off so out for that and a trip to the bookies for Kempton bets and some football bets then off to Swansea v Baggies with both brothers in law, the eldest of which will have no doubt procured a bag so will reluctantly indulge in that.

Folks down for a few days on 28th so will have to endure that.

**** all planned for NYE. There's a 9 hole diddly on NYD which I'll enter and then it's meal out at the local boozer.
Off up to Manc on the 2nd for United v Swansea and again am meeting both the bro in laws. Me and the eldest are staying in town so will show him the sights post match. More bag no doubt. Recover at the folks the next day.

More or less definite I'll have to work in Devon all of 2016 so will head down on the 4th and, this where it gets interesting (honest), have dry remainder of January.

Targets are;

lose half a stone in January (from what I am post Christmas, not now).

Start running out doors, enter a 10k around September with half marathon the target for 2017, if I can get my head round being in a 'race'.

Start squash again after a year out. Got a match against the local league organiser tomorrow so that's up and running.

Get handicap to 8, minimum, and actually work on putting and short game. The rest is good.

Buy a motorhome and have three weeks in France this summer.

Not get my head turned while working away!



Piece of piss.

 

Sounds like a great 2016 in the offing though.
The negatives are always **** but there's loads to look forward to there.

 

Your son is going to France next week with his GF and coming back on 27th. Do you move your Xmas dinner to accommodate?

 

Plenty. Got very high hopes for next year.

 

I personally wouldn't nor would I expect others to for me. You can always have another dinner at the end of the day. Have your Xmas dinner and then do meal for NYE/D.

 

Have another smaller one when they get back.

Not the full hit again though, obviously.

 

At least he's told you. My brother was due back from travelling on 23rd last year. He emailed our mum on 22nd to say he was going to miss his flight as he was stuck on some island but he'd be back in early January. He got back in March.

 

We usually have Xmas with my family, as Mrs Swarbs' only has a handful of living relatives who are all in Russia. But this year we have decided it will just be the three of us as my family have a tendency to plan every aspect of Xmas to death.

It's fun and no grief, but the whole get up, go to church, come back from church, eat the sausages and bacon out of the turkey, open the presents then spend the next three hours eating ourselves to death has been done for the past three decades so looking forward to being a bit more spontaneous.

Xmas day is probably going to consist of sitting around playing games and watching films, then meeting up with friends on Boxing Day and nothing really planned for the rest of the time. Then having a bit of a get together with friends at NY, watching the fireballs and fireworks at the harbour.

No major aspirations for next year. Maybe try for another kid if the Mrs can be persuaded, if not then continue as we are. Just hope the oil price stops collapsing so Mrs Swarbs can have her salary unfrozen as she was promised back in 2014.