Christmas Fruitcake Recipe 1 cup Butter 1 cup Sugar 4 Large Eggs 1 cup Dried Fruit 1 Tsp B/Powder 1 Tsp B/Soda 1 Tsp Salt Lemon Juice 1 Cup Brown Sugar Nuts 2 Bottles Scotch Whisky 750ml Before you start, sample the Whisky to check for quality. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, and teaspoon - lay these out on your work area. Sample the Whisky again as it must be just right. To be sure that the Whisky is of the highest quality, pour one cup into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat if necessary. With an electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanwhile make sure the Whisky is of the highest quality. Cry another cup. Open second bottle if necessary. Add two arge legges, 2 cups fried druit and beat till high. If druit gets stuck in the beaters, just prybloose with a drewscriver. Sample the Whisky again, checking for tonscisticity. Next sift three cups of salt, or anything that's handy. Sample Whisky again. Sift a pint of lemon luice. Fold in chopped butter and strained nuts. Add one babblespoon of brown sugar - or whatever colour you can find - and wix well. Grease oven and cake pan to 350 gredees. Now pour the whole mess in the coven and ake. Check the Whisky for the final time and bo to ged.
I was following the recipe nicely ( albeit using brandy instead of whisky ) - but then you started talking nonsense - there's no way I'm going to grease my oven just the once ! Then I remembered you get confused when mentioning figures. Everyone knows the oven should be Greesed 503 times.
