*Arsene has gathered the media for a press conference. Mike from the 'Daily newsey' and Steve from the 'Daily waily news' is there* Mike: Arsene!? What are we doing here? Arsene: Hello! I have called you here to announce my new signing! Steve: Yes but why are we in the carpark? *Arsene has called the media to the staff carpark at the Emirates* Arsene: Yes I know this is strange but I wanted to keep my new signing a secret. Many of you know that I keep my transfers close to my chest and I only reveal when I am ready. Well sir, I am ready! Mike: You've made a signing!? Steve: Who is it? Where is he? Arsene: BEHOLD!!!!! *Arsene opens the boot of his car to reveal a very still Chris Samba* Arsene: Tis Chris Samba from Blackburn!!!! *The media take pictures, however, Samba is not moving* Mike: Is he OK? Steve: Yeah, he's very still. *Arsene prods Chris Samba* Arsene: Yeah, he's fine, aren't you Chris. *The media move in closer, Mike touches Chris Samba's arm* Mike: He's stone cold!!! *A woman screams* Mike: MY GOD! HE'S DEAD MAN!!!!!! Steve: How long have you had him in there Arsene? Arsene: 10 days.