Carvers Open Letter to Fans

On hearing about Gus's open letter to fans (we'll get to that little doozy later http://www.safc.com/news/team-news/2015/february/an-open-letter-from-gus-poyet ), JC has decided now is the right time for him to address our support, see below (copy and pasted from NUFC...honest)

"For the first time in my life I think is time for me to write this letter to you, the fans.

When I had the opportunity to become the head coach of Newcastle United FC, I just closed my eyes and remember me kneeling on Mikes office floor following Alans decision, jerking, licking, sucking and guzzling with my every sinew. Incredible atmosphere, one of the best I ever felt, so the decision was easy, yes I would love the possibility of coaching Newcastle. Luckily I got the job.

I was brought into the club to stay in the Premier League mid table first and most, then get profit, then continue Alan's love of odd substitutions and then help advertise Sports Direct.

The first goal will be the most difficult task of my life mainly because they've completely shafted me and left me with a bottom end of the table squad.

Then my second aim was to get profit. The squad cuts mean profit and I intend to continue bending over and taking one for the team whenever they want to sell half the squad. Usually around Xmas when I know we've just about achieved safety.

I have managed to continue the odd subs as evidenced at Palace. I will continue down this road and believe me, if I had more left backs available, I'd get them on that pitch. Don't doubt my commitment to utterly mindboggling selections.

I intend to meet the last challenge by getting SD tattoo on my forehead.

Lets not forget all we have achieved previously under me and Alan. Alan was a great man. A club man, he'd do literally anything he was told. We never went near to Wembley as instructed in his 5 years, plus unsuccessful games against our biggest rivals. What we achieved in the last 5 years was achieved by all of us together: club (chairman, directors, staff and players). You lot did **** all and I think I made my feelings about you clear earlier in the season when I approached our away fans. Nobody and I mean nobody from the fanbase helped us a bit, it was only us together.

During my career as a player, I was ****. As a coach I was ****. As a head coach you can guarantee I'll be just as ****. I have always had a terrible relationship with the fans, from my time in the reserves with bad hair, all through my arse licking since, always the relationship was strong, one of mutual hatred. I showed from inside or from outside the pitch, my commitment, passion and dedication in achieving what every club deserved. In your case **** all.

Of course I went through good and bad times, successful and not so good ones, winning or losing, but I licked every arse I had to with honesty, passion and professional work.

So let's make sure that we don’t let anyone to break our relationship, I promise you that I don't care what you think and want to finish mid table as much as Mike and no one thinks more time every day about the team than I do, so I invite all of you to stay negative, to be strong, closer to each other and keep believing in the **** I serve up.

To finish I would like to clarify once more: the main responsible of the results of our team is the fans and their negativity, I always said it and I will always accept your responsibility.

I am really looking forward to see St James Park packed on the next home game, pushing the profits up and the team to what could be a very meaningless victory.

Thank you and regards to all

JC"

Seriously what the **** is up with monkey boy? What an absolute ****tard he is. The club really needs to rein the tosser in. His media work is embarrassing and here they are actively encouraging it. All he has to do is win some games and try attacking once in a while. Yet instead he is making some pathetic belated attempt at a siege mentality having already told the fans its their fault.

 

Sounded like something out of Borat...

"Coming from a small countree called U-r-gay, where mannnny peeple exissst and I have spoken with them and they did not get angry, I trust those also of Sunny-D-land will also be verryyy niiiiice.

I know we not do good with the playyyyars and the ball, but I am appy. Also, I susspeect a gypseee curse has been put upon us, using their evil gypsee hands, and their evil gypsee thighs. No gypsee thighs! No! Bad gypsee thighs! I want to touch them.

If we offer the gypsee a sacrifice... say a buxom wo-man, like Smug, maybe the curse will go away.

Yours

Gus-erelda Poyet

p.s
The flush was broke-n on the toilet. Went on floor, hope ok.".

 

Finally, he admits it - look at this:


Gus Poyet has today asked the club to release a letter to supporters.

Read the head coach’s own words as he directly addresses the fans:

"For the first time in my life I think is time for me to write this letter to you, the fans.

When I had the opportunity to become the head coach of Sunderland AFC, I just closed my eyes and remember me ****ting at the away dressing room at the Stadium of Light at half time, 4-0 down, Sunderland 4 Chelsea 0, incredible atmosphere, one of the best dumps I ever had, so the decision was easy, yes I would love the possibility of coaching Sunderland with those fans. Luckily I got the job."

 

The monkey man is clearly losing the plot. I hope he stays in situ just to see all the fights over on the Mackem board.

 

It's the lure of a nice clean floor to curl one onto. What a feral creature.