Off Topic Can't wipe your own ass

Eventually fellas We all gonna reach the golden years, was thinking today if you had the opportunity would you live in Aged Care? By Yourself? Or have your kids look after you?

 

If you are still capable of looking after yourself, why the hell would you have your kids looking after you?

I'd always look after myself until my mind goes completely and then I'd preferably be giving a lethal injection, or next best, put into a care home.

 

Isn't that what they mean by the "circle of life" though?

We changed their nappies, now they get to return the gesture

Apart from going like how my mum did, being eaten away slowly by cancer, I can't think of much worse than losing my dignity in old age (what dignity I have left as a Sunderland fan anyway)

So I'd opt for that needle as well mate.

 

Forget to mention, euthanasia

 

I've already tried that mate, doesn't work

 

My mum recently said to me she'd rather throw it in then go to a nursing home.. Anyway for years I've always known that I'm gonna look after her when she is struggling mate..

 

Ffs mate

 

My mother is also losing her battle with cancer as it comes to the latter stages, it can't be cured but she'll keep going. Chemo hasn't stopped yet.

Not nice to see and I sincerely hope my kids don't see me going like my dear Mam.

 

And apparently its against the law mate, so don't try it again! You wouldn't want a criminal record would ya

 

I never knew that! That would have been a right twat if they had of charged me in my hospital bed, I would have tried to ki.... Oh forget it

They did test the rifle though to see if the pressure was still under the legal limit.

Imagine that though... "Morning Mrs 83, I'm sorry we have some bad news. Your man went out last night and committed suicide, so we have charged the bastard

 

I'd be staggered if I live long enough.

 

My old mam is riddled with arthritis & heart problems.
She's 77 now & in need of constant care.
She brought me up in difficult circumstances. It's my turn to look after her now.
It's no fun getting old.

 

Suicide is illegal, attempted suicide is not. Bit of a pointless law really.

 

There's criminal legalities of out our 'get out' contingency ironed out nicely.

 

I'd hope very much that my kids will look after their mother, make sure she never spends a day on her own and always feels loved. Me I couldn't give a **** if they tipped me off some ****ing bridge if I got to the stage where I was incapable of looking after myself.

 

My thoughts on the matter although I wasn't going to say anything as I feel like smeone's going to turn up and push me off a bridge.

 

I don't believe in fate

I will be happy to push you off a bridge though mate, if you ever need a hand and your kids won't do it, that's what mates are for. I have some contacts in the medical industry now though mate, so if you've just got a sore back or something, we can do some Stem Cell injections or something... you know, get your money first, then tip you out.

 

If you can't wipe your own ass, its time to go, its natures hint.

 

You ever taken a dump in the outback?